• Notes From a Scuffle with Foreshadowed Macular Degeneration

    May 21, 2006 /


    The shiner that David got was comparable to the shiner that Sean got that was comparable to the raccoon with nothing going for it except for Monday’s trash.  David bought a pair of sunglasses for $5 and wore them all day.  At night he felt foolish wearing them yet, he had no choice.  Only the day before had he pulled a chain out of his truck to “whoop up on” Steve, who had pulled out a small club from his truck to “give David what for”.  David’s chain got caught on Steve’s club and echoes from Lord of the Rings made the fight somewhat of a comfort to Sean. Steve punched David, giving him a shiner, and David sort of just sat down, holding his eye.
    Steve said, “I gave you what for.  Now you go home.”
    And David said, “Man, you punched me in the eye.”
    And Steve said, “I know.  I’m not blind.”
    And David said, “You oughta be.”
    And Sean said, “I’m going home to get my mace with the spikes on it.  Wait here.”
    And thirty minutes later, Sean showed up with his mace. But it was too late. No one was around to see what he had that would make him the go-to guy for a medieval weapons cache.  Two minutes later, Sean’s shiner would be self-inflicted from the mace and he wouldn’t have 5 dollars for sunglasses.

    05_07_1.jpg seanmacular.jpg seanmace.jpg seanjolt.jpg

    steves-truck1.jpg seanface.jpg

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  • Main Squeeze Rehearsal

    May 11, 2006 /
    photo by Hai Zhang
    photo by Hai Zhang

    I rehearsed last night with the Main Squeeze Orchestra.  I’d never seen them before, only heard about them.  When I moved to NYC, I asked around about accordion repair shops and Walter Kuhr’s Main Squeeze came up.  I never went to his shop, opting for Alex’s accordion repair shop in Times Square.

    Then, I heard that he’d started an accordion orchestra, an all-female orchestra.  I thought that was a cool idea but still had never gone to see them.  Until last night when my directions brought me to a classroom tucked away near Chinatown to the 13 ladies with accordions led by Walter at the front.

    I felt shy for some reason.  I think it was because it was a classroom, but who knows.  So, I quietly went to the back of the room and sat as they rehearsed the Brandenburg Concerto No. 5.  As I listened, I thought, this man is brilliant.  13 women playing Bach may seem too much of a novelty in theory but to see and hear it is beautiful.  Different women with different accordions. Small accordions.  Bass accordions.  The Main Squeeze accordions that Walter had built.  What heaven this man must face each week.

    The next piece was “Bohemian Rhapsody”.  I sang from the back for I was still feeling the shy.  I felt like a choir boy singing with them.  And when it was over, Walter pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and wiped a tear.  What a lucky man.

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  • Recording

    May 10, 2006 /

    I recorded last night.  It’s been a while.  Two other bands have been recording at the same studio so I had to find holes in the studio’s schedule since those bands are better at planning ahead than I am.

    I laid down a banjo track on Thank You.  I’m terrible on banjo.  And my banjo kept going out of tune.  But it worked out.  Then, Dave put a bass track on Old Man.  I had a Reason track laid down already but wanted it to be a real bass.   We did two tracks of the bass to be panned in both speakers.  But then scrapped it.  We’ll redo the bass on Thursday. 
     

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  • The Relevancy of Time to the Time Clock at Work

    May 2, 2006 /

    Two guys walk into a showroom.  One guy has construction helmet on, the other guy has a headpiece on just like Batman’s.  The helmeted fellow is eating a twinkie and the batman has a 99c bag of Doritos.  The showroom is full of office furniture and they both want a desk. The helmeted guy takes a rubber mallet and starts hammering on one desk.  The batman guy takes a ball peen hammer and starts hammering on the other.  After 20 seconds of doing so, a salesman walks briskly towards the helmeted guy and says “Stop. Please, sir.  Stop.”  He walks to the batman and says the same exact thing.  The two guys look at each other and continue banging.  The salesman walks back into the office and comes out with two other salesman who start yelling at the two bangers to stop.  When this doesn’t work, one of the stockers holds a lighter to a fire sprinkler because he feels he has a reason to create disorder.  The showroom becomes wet and three fire trucks pull into the parking lot and the stocker man with the lighter goes into the break room and grabs three boxes of pizza because it’s Pizza Friday and disappears into the back where he is picked up by batman and the helmeted guy and they go to the house where batman has a new Xbox, set up with 3 new games and they all eat pizza and laugh and drink Coca Cola.   The end. 

    Epilogue:  The batman fellow’s name is Pat and the construction helmet fellow’s name is Mason.  The stocker’s name is Phil.  They all agree that the new Batman is really good but love Michael Keaton.  They also agree that Papa John’s is really good pizza but not as good as the J and J’s.  Pat can take any topping he can think of to J and J’s and they will put it on his pizza.  He once brought some necco wafers to be put on his pizza and was sure that it would be good but he was wrong.  Phil dated a girl who liked anchovies and wanted some but the grocery store didn’t have any and neither did the pizza place so he bought some sardines and marinated them in salt and oil but she didn’t like it, so he stopped trying. It might mean he didn’t really love her and it’s a good thing that they broke up.  Now, a month ago, Mason started playing Resident Evil 4 and was amazed at the amount of time that went by during play.  He felt like everyone around him aged faster than he did because of how fast time seemed to pass during the game.  He was almost right because of his own mass.  Meanwhile, the salesman who didn’t know what had happened after the incident lives alone and watches Office Space once a week.  Sometimes twice.  His name is also Phil but goes by Philip.  He doesn’t eat pizza much but enjoys cereal.  He has a Reservoir Dogs poster behind his couch and that’s all he has that isn’t functional.  He feels the monotony of his life is diverted by going to Walmart instead of Kroger for his groceries.  He also lies on the floor for hours not doing anything.  He can do 100 situps a day.  He can do 100 pushups a day.  But, what he doesn’t do is think up stupid ways to annoy other working people by dressing up like an idiot and pounding on office furniture in order to get free pizza.  He will be at the apartment complex’s fitness center at 4:00 today in hopes of hooking up.  His relation to time is relative to Mason’s.

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  • Not Stormy Enough

    May 1, 2006 /

    When the plot to overthrow the makings of a giant windstorm plan failed, Mitchell found a loophole that involved going back to the storeroom and getting the copperwire set aside for making penny yarn and weaving it in and out of the sheet metal thunder clapper.  When the art director saw him and began his mother hen line of questioning, Mitchell replied that it was a union thing.  Not being in the union, Mitchell knew that this would:  a) uphold his denial of sabotage, b) allow him to give the union more overtime in taking the copper wire out at a later date and c) a thank you beer for the overtime.

    On Sunday, the Senate gave audience to the presentation of the Windstorm Finale, designed to be a “Who? Not Us” weapon which was still in the planning stages.  Subsequently, when the time came to show the rattling of the sheet metal in order to create fake thunder, the dull bangs of the copperwire were congruous with the dull satisfaction of the Senate. Later that day, Mitchell thought, “Haha.  “Everyone is stupid but me,” as he drank his free Miller High Life alone.

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  • John Titor Fan Fiction: The Accidental Nap

    April 25, 2006 /

    John Titor’s machine was gravity based and would allow him to travel back to the time he needed to go.  However, one day while “rewinding” (he was trying to watch someone type in a password into the IBM he was about to obtain 10 minutes into the future) a black hole shot an anti- ray right onto his machine (like a reverse disco ball) thus disabling the Gravity Sensor Unit and throwing him sideways onto another timestrip that was a phantom strip but one that kept going, like a fart that never leaves.

    Anyhoo, he found himself in the year 1999 and was giggling over the y2k hype, not knowing he was on a phantom timestrip.  “The sky will be falling from now on,” he thought and went to an internet café and tried to log onto his email account but kept failing. 

    Finally, he went to the administrator behind the counter.

    “My computer isn’t working.”

    “What’s wrong with it?”

    “I can’t get any pages to come up.”

    So, he walked over with John and asked for the page.

    “It’s just yahoo.”

    “Don’t know it,” and typed “iii.yahoo.go” and the yahoo page came up.

    John then realized he was on the wrong time strip and asked, “What do you guys call the problem about the double-digit numbers turning over to 1900 instead of 2000?”

    “What problem?  We don’t have a-“

    And then everything around him started disappearing like a fog clearing and he knew that the phantom time had finally dissipated.  He’d never been in the absence of time and began to take a nap because a physicist had once written, “A true nap can only be perfect when there is no time to be wasted and none to worry.”

    And he napped in no time.  But it seemed like forever.

    Meanwhile, in another time, a physicist had written the word “crap” and then accidentally typed “nap”.

     

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  • A CD from a Tapas Restaurant

    April 22, 2006 /

    Two guys walk by a guy who is building a fort out of toothpicks and is in the stage of finding something small enough to enjoy the fort.  One guy says, “Hey, why is taking Mo so long to make a cd?”  The other guy says, “Because he can’t find an animal willing to enjoy his newly varnished fort.”

    I can send you free is a cd compilation that I received to promote a show that started with my bass player saying,

    200px-Johan_Olov_Wallin.jpg  “Hey Mo, this guy wants us to play at his restaurant and will feed us and pay us.   It’s on a Monday and they want to make a cd of the bands playing just to promote the shows.”

    prospect2.jpg “ok”

    The Saturday before the show I was walking in the neighborhood of the venue and looked inside.  It was a tapas restaurant which was good because I began looking forward to my free tapas dinner but there was nowhere to set up, no p.a., nothing.  My ominous feeling about this gig was simultaneously felt by my bass player who called me within the half hour and said,

    200px-Johan_Olov_Wallin.jpg “Hey Mo, I have a weird feeling about playing at this restaurant.  I want to go by and check it out.”

    prospect2.jpg “Hey, I’m pretty close to it and I have the same feelings.”

    We met the owner at the restaurant and told him who we were.  He looked panicked since this will be the whole band, rocking very close to people eating dinner.

    columbus.jpg “We can move this table.”  But, the table’s not the problem.  The whole thing is the problem.  So, I offer to cancel it as a misunderstanding.  The band the previous week had to stop because customers were leaving.  This situation was not far from Hedwig’s seafood restaurant tour and cancelling would be in the best interest of everyone.  But the owner was looking for rainbows in an exploding toilet.

    columbus.jpg “No, I would like you to play.  How about if you come and if it is too loud then you stop and still get paid and eat.”

    I’m all for that but I know its going to be a pain for everyone else. 

    The situation was finally remedied at 4pm on Monday and it was agreed that I would do the show by myself.  I shit you not when I tell you that it was too loud even with me unamplified.  No mics, no amplifiers.  Just me, my accordion, and my casio piano’s tiny speakers.  The dudes who signed the Arctic Monkeys showed up and I just shook my head thinking, You came to this one.  But I enjoyed myself because it was so quiet and will do it again in such manner someday.

    You can have a souvenir of this debacle.  Free.  It’s just a compilation of latin rock bands and me.  I should have recorded the performance but I didn’t.  I’ll mail you one or give you one somewhere.  And I will continue working on my new cd of songs. cornmo@hotmail.com

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  • A Treasure of Crap

    April 21, 2006 /

    Still sick.  How bloggy of me.  I think I’m grinding my teeth in my sleep and in the process I’m milling/mining some mercury and thus making myself a most incredible moron.  There’s more to it than lame excuses I’m sure but that’s a good one I think.

    I love lists.  I really enjoy crafting my setlist before a show.  I love watching my grandmother make a grocery list for me.  It’s well thought out and the handwriting is shaky and in cursive.  She usually verbally adds souse because I think she knows its bad for her (souse is a cold cut made from pig snouts).  VH1 goes shithouse on lists.  What?  What I thought was brilliant wasn’t?  What was I thinking?  Lists are quick and factual.  It’s good that I like doing my taxes.  It’s bad that I’ll allow myself to look at inane lists ad nauseam.

    Thus, I have some crap I need to loseWeight Exercise.  Email me your address if you like crap (I’m not going to shit in a box. I know how to but I choose not to) and I’ll enclose the follow-up email with a list of what I am parting to you.  And believe you me, it will be a treasure of crap.

    love,

    Dummy

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  • Sick of being Sick

    April 20, 2006 /

    I’m sick today.  I hate being sick.  I can’t concentrate on anything except headaches and coughing.  I got it on the plane yesterday.  I should start wearing a mask on the plane so that I don’t get sick or get others sick.  A full-hooded mask.  “Hey, I’m cool.  I’m just sick.  And polite.”

    I started writing today and ended up with a stupid poem called “Fat Balling”.  I deleted it.  I can’t write sick.  I’m a moron plus sick.

    Lilly

    My Aunt Lilly makes birthday phone calls as it is her hobby.  She also calls the local radio station to remind them to say happy birthday, also.  I had her call my roommate for his birthday and I think this is how it went:

    “happy birthday to you happy birthday to you happy birthday i love you happy birthday to you.”

    “Thanks, Lilly.  How are you?”

    “I don’t feel too good. I woke up with a headache.  When’s Jon coming home?”

    “I don’t know.”

    Sometime I’ll do her voice for you.  It makes a better story. 

    Kid Laughed at Joke

    My 5-year-old niece told me a knock-knock joke and I told it to my friend’s 6-year-old and he turned red in the face with laughter.  It’s a good joke.  Then, he made me play Busey Boy on the piano.  My friend has good kids.

    Third Base

    I saw the girl I went to third base with for the first time and didn’t say hello.  That wasn’t nice of me but it seemed awkward since it seemed like yesterday. Basketball pep band was awkward, too.  I do a lot of awkward shit.  I should have said, “hello.”

    Fatballing

    Fat ball

    Fat  . . . bald

    Fat . . .  balding

    Fat  . . . balling

    BONANZA!

    I told you.

     

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  • Dallas Fan Fiction: Working on My Belfast Accent at a Pub on Greenville Avenue at a Bring In The Weekend Party

    April 7, 2006 /

    This guy named Cliff? used to work at Taffy’s on Good Latimer? but then gave up on yelling every time he started the pulling machine? so he got fired? But then by mistake? he loaded the machine backwards? and it started brushing against the newspaper stand? so that it took the print off like a piece of silly putty would? but then would stay on? and somehow the print wouldn’t stretch? and so the pieces of taffy afterward had printing on them? and his boss started calling him Gutenberg? but with a Trenton, NJ accent? even though he was already fired? and he worked there for another year? even though he wasn’t supposed to? and then he moved to Waxahachie? but he couldn’t drive to work? so he got a job selling cookies at the Scarborough Fair?  and he liked that better?

     

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  • The Man in the Vellum Pants

    April 6, 2006 /

    These guys were doing chores on a farm and the one guy had plastic pants to keep his other pants from getting dirty.  The devil himself would see him and would shake his head saying, “At least I’m not that guy.”  He wasn’t THE devil but a rockabilly guy who had a devil on his lighter.  But the plastic panter was good at making piles.  Really good at it.  He numbered his piles and marked each one as if it were a garden of piles.  He even kept a log of the piles with a vellum paper map attachment.  The maps were transparent enough to see the history of the pile placement.  Luckily, the owner of the farm enjoyed seeing such documentation and contacted a publisher of almanacs about his employee.  The publisher laughed and hung up.  It wasn’t until seven years later that the book was found that the pile documenter was properly recognized.  During a time transport viewing, the farmer was heard saying, “Reading that logbook’s map was like peeling an onion.  It-“ and as he paused the worker looked up from shoveling, smiled, and looked at the devil and said, “See, I told you.”

    Red-Eyed-Devil-lit.jpg It was handmade.  It could only be started by a lady with Betty Page bangs.

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  • Upgrading…Don’t be scared.

    March 25, 2006 /

    Cornmo.com is going through some changes. We ask that you be supportive and not make fun of the site in its awkward adolescence.

    Love,

    Joel

    (webmo)

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  • Subway Fan Fiction

    March 23, 2006 /

    "I saw Blank Check last night."

    "Yeah?"

    "It was okay.  Not what I thought."

    "What you think it was?"

    "I dunno.  Just a different kind of movie than I thought.  It’s over 10 years old now, that movie."

    "Oh yeah?"

    "Yeah.  Time flies.  I’m gonna get an egg and cheese."

    "Yeah."

    "The kid from Family Ties was in it."

    "Oh yeah?"

    "He’s got some years on him now I guess."

    "The kid from the movie?"

    "Yeah.  You’re hungry, too right?"

    They got off at Union Square.  The End.  Two others get on.

    "He’s got the shits.  He is the shits."

    "You see the new Star Wars?  I got it on dvd.  Joey has it."

    "That guy’s gonna get it.  He’s the shits."

    "Joey?"

    "No, but I wanna see that new Star Wars."

    They get off at 6th Ave.  The End.  I get off, too.  And then some addled fellow stopped a pretty girl.

    "Excuse me does this go to 6th Ave?"

    "This is 6th."

    "I’m sorry I meant 7th."

    Girl keeps walking.  "Yes."

    The fellow was made out of syrup.  The End.

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  • News

    March 20, 2006 /

    I recorded last night.  It went well.  The album is starting to take shape and I’m getting excited about its progress.  The Magic is You! took less than a week to record.  This one has been taking too long and I’ve been second guessing my choices, frequently.  But now, I feel a momentum and it’s good as I don’t mind fumbling about it.

    The artwork is coming along, too.  Not as dynamic as the last one, but cool.  It was going to be called "Your Favorite Hamburger is a Cheeseburger" and then it was going to be called something else but that’s going to change again I’m sure.

    One of my favorite songs on the cd so far is 20 seconds long and in German.  I had some help translating and will probably be incorrect in my pronunciations.

    I hope to have it out, soon.

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  • Whenever She is Blue

    March 5, 2006 /

    I used the rendering tool, Coconut Head, on my girlfriend’s first communion photo.  Whenever I show it to her, she vomit laughs.

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  • Dan Castle

    March 1, 2006 /

    I met this fellow who built rocks out of sand with rubber and glue.  He took a rock and made a mold from it.  Then, he would go to his mixing bowl using sand, glue, and sometimes an egg to make a sort of dough, inserting it into the mold.  Then, he would squirt an epoxy that he called, "The Going Backwards", and it would harden.

    When he had enough rocks he built a castle.  Well, he called it a castle but it was more like a house.  With two turrets divided by a porcelein minaret and a slide for the back stairs it was definitely an odd house.   There was one room blocked that was not unlike a caved-in mineshaft.  He told me that pile was a door.  I tried to open it, thinking it was one piece made to look like a pile of rocks but I was wrong.  It took a good 45 minutes to open that "door". 

    Inside was a room with a horse/motorcycle he had not finished building. 

    "It’s gallops don’t propel the bike.  They are not unlike Ramp Walkers.  The gallops create energy that is stored in the motor.  It’s propulsion primed, it will go for great lengths on recycled movement."

    rampwalker5.jpgA Ramp Walker’s underside

    Finishing my visit, a reporter with a 2:00 appointment met us outside and quipped, "So, this is the house made out of sand."

    To which my new friend replied, "Call it what you like."

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  • How to Be Better Than You Already Are

    February 23, 2006 /

    A fine piece of literature was beholden at this dime store that had become a dollar store.  It was a book on how to mold yourself into a better person so I thumbed through it for a grain of salt.  The cashier saw me looking at the book, walked over, and grabbed it out of my hands.  She thumbed through it like it was cash.

    "Dammit."

    "Huh?"

    "I put a note in here from my tommorrow boyfriend so that my backup boyfriend wouldn’t see it and now it’s gone."

    "What’s a tommor-"

    "Nevermind.  Dammit.  FFFFFF-Why can’t people leave shit alone?"

    And then she ran down the aisle of office supplies and thumbed through all the coloring books that were only a dollar.  She was creating quite a pile while her register was building a good line of people.

    One customer finally said, "Hellooo?"

    "Hold on!  dammit."  She thumbed through a Noah’s Ark book, grabbed something, ran back showing me the note for assurance and then ran-walked to the register.

    The customer thought she was pretty so he wasn’t mad anymore and asked,  "Are these batteries any good?  Cause they’re only a dollar."

    "I don’t know.  Do you want ’em?"

    "I guess.  They’re only a dollar."

    Then, I saw two guys get out of different cars in the lot and sensed that one was tomorrow and one was backup and they didn’t look like dollar store buyers.

    And then, I don’t know how, but the girl made herself look 80-years-old. 

    oldlady.jpgShe was brilliant.  And flighty. 

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  • Axl Rose

    February 13, 2006 /

    I had a great night last night.  I did a show at the Ars Nova Theater called Automatic Vaudeville.  I like doing these variety shows.  It’s cool to hang out with other performers.  On the bill was a band called Sin Destroyer, At Least It’s Pink, the VIDS, Neal Medlyn, Dirty Martini, and Billy Willing.

    They do you well there in the backstage:  pizza, m&m’s (both kinds), beers, carrots, pringles.  If I was doing magic instead of singing I would have had pizza and beer.  Guess what card you’re thinking of?  Magic.

    I played two songs and went back to cage, as they say.  After the show I went to meet my lady at Show, where the vaudeville is high class, as they say in Grapevine.

    Victoria Secrets had a party at Show with lots of dancing ladies on pedestals.  There was a velvet rope outside but I didn’t see anyone corralled in the cold waiting to have something awesome happen when they got their drinks.

    Una had already done her trapeze act, so we went upstairs where there were more pretty ladies and then I saw the great Axl Rose!  Holy shit!

    “I saw you in ’93 at Texas Stadium.  You were awesome.”

    And that was it.  I couldn’t talk anymore.  Until I had some champagne.  Then, I was back talking to him about Mr. Brownstone and asking him about Chinese Democracy and then he told us about his first time in NY, hanging out with Sean Penn and how surreal it was, and about Stephanie Seymour and how she fucked it all up and then this guy was doing a magic trick with me and him and kept calling him Ax because he had no idea.  I met Axl Rose!  He was a very nice fellow.axlmo.jpg

    Me and Axl

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  • Culver City’s Cabinet of Wonder

    February 2, 2006 /

    I had a good time in LA.  I visited the La Brea Tar Pits this time.  There’s a wall of wolf skulls.  Or jawbones.  I can’t remember except that it was immense.  Nonetheless, they have a wealth of fossils there.
    Superlative to the museums I visited is still the Museum of Jurassic Technology. Oh, how I love to see the vision of one person come to fruition! There I caught a movie trailer that the founder was showing in order to acquire the funds to make a complete movie.  It was a waterfall with some piano in the background but at one point just the waterfall.  I love quiet nature videos.  I tried to make one in Ireland but my hand shook too much as I was driving.  I hope Mr. Wilson gets his funding.
    I did a show with Hard N Phirm.  One of the guys in that group is Chris Hardwick, who hosted Singled Out and was physically bothered in House of 1000 Corpses.  They did a Tron rock opera not then but at another time. The other fellow, Mark, has no sense of smell. Really nice fellows. 

    hardnphirm.jpgHard N Phirm

    The other guy in the show was Mike O’Connell, who was very funny.  If Rip Taylor were a Kentucky colonel and enjoyed the company of a lady and a glass of white then you’d be hanging out with Mike.

    mike.gifMike

    I went over my time again.  This is twice in the comedy.  The first time was awful.  This time not so bad.  Usually, the sound guy tells you “One more” meaning “you have time for one more song.”  I usually tell the sound guy to tell me “10 minutes” meaning “you have 10 more minutes” and I gauge it from there.  On the comedy stage, however, there’s a light.  And when the light comes on it means “wrap it up.” 
    When I was in Y-Indian Guides, my name was Brave Wolf.  Now it would be Dumbhead Who Can’t See Light.  Pardon my French.
    I enjoy LA.  Read City of Quartz.

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  • Old Shows. Good Times.

    February 1, 2006 /

    Saturday, November 13
    short solo set
    Richmond, VA
    The Canal Club
    1545 E. Cary St.
    Richmond Varietease presents “The Den of Delight” with CORN MO!
    w/ Boo Boo Darlin, Dolli Holliday, Deepa De Jour, Miss Magnolia Jackson Pickett Burnside and The Garter Snaps
    East Coast:
    Mini Tour with the BURLESQUE-A-PADES:
    short solo set
    Friday, November 19th
    NEW HAVEN, CT
    Helen Pontani, Albert Cadabra, Trixie Little & The Evil Hate Monkey, Corn Mo, Mstickle & more
    Cafe Nine
    250 State St
    9PM
    tickets @ www.cafenine.com

    Saturday, November 20th
    ASBURY PARK, NJ
    Helen Pontani, Albert Cadabra, Trixie Little & The Evil Hate Monkey, Gal Friday, Corn Mo, Mstickle & more
    Asbury Lanes
    209 4th Ave.
    8pm doors/9pm show
    tickets @www.asburylanes.com

    Monday, November 22nd
    BROOKLYN
    Angie Pontani, Helen Pontani, Albert Cadabra, Corn Mo, Trixie Little & The Evil Hate Monkey, MsTickle The Pontani Sisters & more
    Public Assembly
    70 N 6th St.
    8pm doors/9pm show
    tickets @ www.publicassemblynyc.com

    Tuesday, November 23rd
    NORTHAMPTON, MA
    Starring: Angie Pontani, Helen Pontani, Albert Cadabra, Corn Mo, Trixie Little & The Evil Hate Monkey, MsTickle The Pontani Sisters & more Iron Horse
    20 Center St.
    7pm
    tickets @ www.iheg.com

    Sunday, November 21
    full solo set
    NYC
    Mercury Lounge
    217 E. Houston
    Corn Mo with Jonathan Wood Vincent and The Debutante Hour
    TDH – 7pm, JWV – 7:45pm, CM – 8:30pm
    link: http://www.mercuryloungenyc.com/event/5584

    Wednesday, October 6
    Corn Mo
    BROOKLYN
    Temple Beth Emeth
    Ditmas Acoustic @ the Sanctuary
    83 Marlborough Road
    w/ Jesse Harris
    7pm

    Saturday, October 2
    .357 Lover
    NYC
    Mercury Lounge
    217 E. Houston St.
    10:30pm, $10 adv, $12 door
    w/ Diamondsnake
    tickets and more info

    Thursday, September 30
    Corn Mo
    CONEY ISLAND/BROOKLYN
    Coney Island Sideshow
    w/ Ekaterina, Magic Brian and more

    Friday, September 17
    Corn Mo
    Philadelphia, PA
    The Festival Bar
    Spring Garden at Delaware
    11pm, FREE
    as part of the Late Nite Cabaret

    Friday, September 10
    Corn Mo
    Washington, DC
    Palace of Wonders
    1210 H Street NE
    10pm

    Saturday, September 4th
    .357 Lover
    Philadelphia, PA
    Johnny Brenda’s
    1201 Frankford Ave.
    The Late Nite Cabaret with Open-Stage Variety Show
    FREE
    doors at 9, show at 10, Lover at midnight
    more info: http://latenitecabaret.com/Shows/Sept4.htm

    Monday, August 23
    .357 Lover’s Diorama of Friends Variety Show
    BROOKLYN
    Knitting Factory
    361 Metropolitan Ave.
    more info
    APPEARING:
    The Love Show – Burlesque Dance
    http://www.theloveshownyc.com
    Ekatarina – Burlesque Contortion Wonder
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0dlzrd2DbRE
     Root Hub – Smiling Music
    http://roothub.com/
    Jonathan Wood Vincent – Boogie Piano Master
    http://www.myspace.com/jonathanwvincent
    Chris Rozzi – Man of 1,000 Faces
    www.outreisland.com
    and
    DJ Fletch – DJ Capt.
    http://fletch.in/

    Thursday, August 12
    NYC
    Comedy Below Canal
    92Y Tribeca
    200 Hudson St.
    9pm

    LIZZ WINSTEAD (co-creator & former head writer of Comedy Central’s “The Daily Show,” and co-creator of Air America Radio)
    HARI KONDABOLU (Live at Gotham, John Oliver’s Stand-up Show)
    GREG WALLOCH (The Moth storyteller, F**k The Disabled)
    JOE MANDE (Live at Gotham, Look at this F*cking Hipster)
    musical guest CORN MO (.357 Lover, The Polyphonic Spree)
    and more!

    Tickets & Info:
    http://www.92y.org/shop/detail.asp?productid=T-MM5CM74

    .357 LOVER’S Diorama of Friends Variety Show
    Monday, August 9
    BROOKLYN
    Knitting Factory
    361 Metropolitan Ave.
    7:30 doors 8 show
    info
    w/ Carla Rhodes, Harlan Muir, Amazing Amy, Gabe Pacheco and Sweet Soubrette

    .357 LOVER
    Saturday, July 31
    NYC
    Mercury Lounge
    217 E. Houston St.
    8:30pm
    w/ Break Mission at 7:30pm
    more info: http://www.mercuryloungenyc.com/event/5030

    Corn Mo
    Friday, June 11
    WASHINGTON, DC
    Palace of Wonders
    1210 H Street NE
    9pm

    .357 LOVER
    Sunday, May 30
    NYC
    Highline Ballroom
    431 W. 16th St.
    9pm
    w/ This Ambitious Orchestra, Michael T and Judas Priestess

    Corn Mo
    Thursday, May 20
    WASHINGTON, DC
    Palace of Wonders
    1210 H Street NE
    9pm
    w/ The Fabulous Miss Una

    .357 LOVER
    Saturday, May 1ST
    BROOKLYN
    THE MIDNIGHT SPECIAL @ THE BELL HOUSE
    149 7th St (b/t 2nd & 3rd Ave.)
    hosted by MURRAY HILL
    ANGIE PONTANI, CRAIG BALDO, MSTICKLE, HELEN PONTANI, Canada’s Queen Of Burlesque ROXI D’LITE and LEFTY LUCY
    $15.00
    Midnight
    Tickets available at www.thebellhouseny.com
    USE THE DISCOUNT CODE “DERBY” FOR $5.OO OFF ADVANCE TICKETS!

    Friday, April 23
    NYC
    Papacookie Pinewood Timber Mill
    201 W. 86th St. #806
    Playing a vegetarian potluck dinner at a piano-furnished apartment. More intimate than this is me playing at the foot of your bed. Those prices vary. This is free.
    8pm
    also playing: Jonathan Wood Vincent and Lilly Maase

    Friday, April 16
    Corn Mo and Friends
    NYC
    Parkside Lounge
    317 E Houston (at Attorney)
    w/ Magic Brian, Geoff Berner and special guest

    Tuesday, March 22
    Brooklyn
    Northeast Kingdom
    18 Wyckoff Ave.
    10pm
    Susan Hwang, Preston Spurlock, Yoko and Sara Lautman.

    Every Tuesday in January
    .357 Lover Residency     at the Knitting Factory
    Lover_knit2010

    Monday, January 25
    NYC
    Comix
    353 W. 14th St.
    9:30pm
    $15 advance; $20 at show
    Corn Mo, Mackin Band and the Heavy Metal Magician
    Tickets and more info at: http://www.comixny.com/event.aspx?eid=687&sid=2471

    Thursday, February 4
    NYC
    Joe’s Pub
    We Sing Baby Dee #3
    Interpretations of Songs by Baby Dee
    with Baby Dee, Sxip Shirey, Andrew W. K., Corn Mo, Little Annie and Paul Wallfisch, Curtis Eller, Aimee Curl, Mathew and Sarah, Phillip Raya and Lila.
    7pm, $15
    more info and tickets at: www.joespub.com

    Wednesday, February 10
    Thursday, February 11
    NYC
    Joe’s Pub
    Straight Up, Vampire! The History of Vampires in Colonial Pennsylvania as Performed to the Music of Paula Abdul
    I will be playing Ben Franklin as a werewolf.
    Tickets and info: www.joespub.com

    Saturday, February 13
    NYC
    .357 LOVER at Santos Party House
    96 Lafayette Street
    w/ Notorious MSG and Gelatine
    Tickets

    Sunday, February 14
    Alexandria, VA
    The Birchmere
    Burlesque-A-Pades in Loveland
    w/ Angie Pontani, Little Brooklyn, Helen Pontani, Peekaboo Pointe, Albert Cadabra, Lefty Lucy and the Breadbasket and Chili Boys
    Tickets and info: www.birchmere.com
    Saturday, January 2
    NYC
    Upright Citizens Brigade Theater
    307 W. 26th St.
    Midnight
    $5
    Corn Mo plays Andy Rocco’s Hipster Show – a talk show hosted by Andy Rocco where you are encouraged to bring your vinyl records.
    Tickets and more info at: http://newyork.ucbtheatre.com/shows/2116

    Friday, December 11
    Brooklyn, NY
    16 Main St.
    DUMBO, Brooklyn
    .357 Lover at
    Galapagos Art Space
    10:30pm
    w/ Sxip Shirey
    $10
    To Purchase Tickets: https://www.smarttix.com/show.aspx?showcode=COR13
    NEW YEAR’S EVE
    Corn Mo
    NYC
    Parkside Lounge
    317 E Houston
    w/ Magic Brian, Albert Cadabra and Jason Trachtenburg
    Check this link for more details.

    Saturday, December 5
    Ukrainian National Home
    140 2 Ave.
    NYC
    benefit for The Debutante Hour’s upcoming tour
    w/ The Debutante Hour, The Wowz, Sweet Soubrette and more
    show begins at 7pm and ends after midnight
    Corn Mo at 10ish

    Friday, December 11
    Brooklyn, NY
    16 Main St.
    DUMBO, Brooklyn
    .357 Lover at
    Galapagos Art Space
    10:30pm
    w/ Sxip Shirey
    $10
    To Purchase Tickets: https://www.smarttix.com/show.aspx?showcode=COR13
    Friday, October 30
    Harper’s Ferry
    158 Brighton Ave.
    Allston, MA
    we go on at 9

    w/ Tragedy and LA Mob

    Tickets – http://www.venuevents.net/event/420

    Sunday, May 31
    Los Angeles, CA
    The Hotel Cafe
    1623 1/2 N Cahuenga Blvd
    8pm
    w/ Roothub .357 LOVER

    Thursday, June 18
    NYC
    Europa
    98 Meserole Ave.
    doors 8pm
    Valley Lodge 9
    .357 Lover 10
    Sky White Tiger 11
    Tickets

    July 2
    NYC
    Le Poisson Rouge
    158 Bleecker St.
    $12
    w/ the Trachtenburg Family Slideshow Players and Tammy Faye Starlight
    EARLY SHOW: 7:30pm

    August 17
    .357 Lover
    Brooklyn, NY
    The Bell House
    $10, doors 7:30, Lover on at 8:15
    149 7th St.
    with Brave Combo.

    Saturday, September 12
    Philadelphia, PA
    230 Vine St.
    BURLESK AND BEYOND
    Doors at 10pm
    FREE
    Hosted by Murray Hill, with Bianca Dupree, The Luvely Rae,
    Greta Von Tapp, Jezebel Express Eerie Twilight,
    and SPECIAL APPEARANCE from The Love Show (NYC)
    Short Corn Mo set
    .357 LOVER hits at midnight

    Friday, October 2
    Brooklyn, NY
    Brooklyn Bowl
    61 Wythe Ave.
    .357 LOVER CD RELEASE
    w/ Tragedy and Johnny Headband
    8pm
    $5
    We go on at 9pm

    Sunday, May 31
    Los Angeles, CA
    The Hotel Cafe
    1623 1/2 N Cahuenga Blvd
    8pm
    w/ Roothub .357 LOVER

    Thursday, June 18
    NYC
    Europa
    98 Meserole Ave.
    doors 8pm
    Valley Lodge 9
    .357 Lover 10
    Sky White Tiger 11
    Tickets

    July 2
    NYC
    Le Poisson Rouge
    158 Bleecker St.
    $12
    w/ the Trachtenburg Family Slideshow Players and Tammy Faye Starlight
    EARLY SHOW: 7:30pm

    August 17
    .357 Lover
    Brooklyn, NY
    The Bell House
    $10, doors 7:30, Lover on at 8:15
    149 7th St.
    with Brave Combo.

    Saturday, September 12
    Philadelphia, PA
    230 Vine St.
    BURLESK AND BEYOND
    Doors at 10pm
    FREE
    Hosted by Murray Hill, with Bianca Dupree, The Luvely Rae,
    Greta Von Tapp, Jezebel Express Eerie Twilight,
    and SPECIAL APPEARANCE from The Love Show (NYC)
    Short Corn Mo set
    .357 LOVER hits at midnight

    Friday, October 2
    Brooklyn, NY
    Brooklyn Bowl
    61 Wythe Ave.
    .357 LOVER CD RELEASE
    w/ Tragedy and Johnny Headband
    8pm
    $5
    We go on at 9pm

    Friday, April 10 Hamilton, NYColgate University 13 Oak Drive 7pm
    .357 LOVER Saturday, April 11 Brooklyn, NY Southpaw 125 5th Ave Save Coney Island Benefit .357 LOVER Friday, April 17SOLD OUT Brooklyn, NY Warsaw 261 Driggs Ave w/ The Dead Milkmen .357 LOVER Wednesday, April 22 NYC Le Poisson Rouge 158 Bleecker St. St. Bernadette cd release party! w/ Josh Bloom, Vibrarmony .357 LOVER Friday, April 24 NYC Dixon Place 161 Chrystie Street
    10pm
    All The People You Love: a variety show with James Braley, Magic Brian, Greg Walloch and Curtis Eller CORN MO Friday, May 1 Brooklyn, NY Trash Bar 256 Grand St. w/ Dig My Grave .357 LOVER Saturday, May 2 Brooklyn, NY Sputnik 262 Taaffe Pl. Taaffe St. Block Party w/ Friends With Murder, R. Stevie Moore, and Tongues .357 LOVER Friday, May 8 NYC D-Lounge 101 East 15th Street, below the Daryl Roth Theatre 10pm $10 www.terranovacollective.org w/ Amy Soucy, Brendan O’Hara, Brent Shuttleworth, and DJ Reganomics Sunday, May 10 NYC Rockwood Music Hall 196 Allen Street midnight free full corn mo set

    Wednesday, December 31 Philadelphia, PA .357 LOVER at Theater of the Living Arts 334 South St.
    2 shows
    w/ TMBG!

    Saturday, January 3 NYC The PIT 154 w. 29th btw. 6th & 7th 7pm, $8 Playing a few songs, opening for my friends, The Impending Moustache, a sketch group.

    Tuesday, January 6 NYC Zipper Factory 336 W. 37th St. btw. 8th and 9th w/ Sxip Shirey and Jason Webley
    8pm, $15

    CANCELLED Saturday, January 10 BROOKLYN 289 Kent b/n S 1st and S 2nd $8, 9pm w/ Jollyship the Whizbang February 17 NYC ARS NOVA Theater 511 West 54th Street UNTITLED .357 LOVER ROCK OPERA Saturday, December 12 Worcester, MA .357 LOVER Worcester Polytechnic Institute – Alden Auditorium 100 Institute Road Brooklyn, New York 8pm w/ TMBG .357 LOVER

    Tuesday, December 16 Brooklyn, NY .357 LOVER at The Glasslands Gallery
    289 Kent St. b/n S1 and S2nd
    9pm, $7
    w/ Golden and Growler

    Friday, November 7 NYC .357 LOVER at Union Hall 702 Union St. Brooklyn, New York $8, 8pm FROM BUBBLEGUM TO SKY -8:30 KISSY KAMIKAZE – 9:30 .357 LOVER – 10:30

    Saturday, November 8 NYC Private Party

    Saturday, November 15 Los Angeles Private Party Sunday, November 16 Los Angeles Hotel Cafe 1623 1/2 N. Cahuenga Blvd 10pm

    December 31 Philadelphia TLA 2 shows! .357 LOVER with They Might Be Giants

    CORN MO
    Friday, September 5
    Fairfield, CT
    Fairfield Theater Company
    Stage One
    70 Sanford St. (across from Metro North stop)
    7:30pm (doors at 7)
    Tickets: $22
    w/ The Zambonis and Tragedy
    more info

    STRAIGHT UP, VAMPIRE!
    PHILLY FRINGE FESTIVAL
    Saturday, September 6 and Sunday, September 7
    Philadelphia, PA
    First Unitarian Church of Philadelphia
    2125 Chestnut St.
    I will be playing local hero, Ben Franklin, in this staged reading
    of the history of vampires and Paula Abdul in colonial Philadelphia.
    more info

    .357 LOVER
    NYC
    Sunday, September 14
    Mercury Lounge
    Time TBA

    Touring with Ben Folds

    June 24
    Newcastle, UK
    The Academy

    June 25
    London, UK
    SBE

    June 28
    Nijmegan, Holland
    Rockin Park

    June 29
    Amsterdam, Holland
    Paradiso

    June 30
    Hamburg, Germany
    Greunspan

    July 2
    Bochum, Germany
    Zeche

    July 3
    Manheim, Germany
    Alter Feuerwache

    July 7
    Nottingham, UK
    Rock City

    July 8
    Sheffield, UK
    The Academy

    July 9
    Liverpool, UK
    The Academy

    July 13
    Bristol, UK
    The Academy

    Saturday, April 12
    PHILADELPHIA, PA
    The Trocadero
    1003 Arch St.
    Philadelphia Film Festival Party
    w/ The Ghouls with Shane West and Trixie Little and the Evil Hate Monkey

    Saturday, April 19
    BROOKLYN, NY
    Luna Lounge
    361 Metropolitan Ave
    w/ The Jupiter Deluxe

    Friday, May 2
    BALTIMORE, MD
    The Ottobar
    2549 N Howard St.
    w/ Big in Japan, Gunwife Gone, and The Old Souls

    March 8-15 SXSW WITH TOUR

    Saturday, March 8
    Greenville, NC
    Spazzatorium Galleria
    807 Dickinson Ave

    Sunday, March 9
    Augusta, GA
    1102 Bar and Grill
    1102 Broad St.
    w/ Edison Project

    Monday, March 10
    Athens, GA
    283 Bar
    283 E. Broad St.
    w/ Edison Project

    Wednesday, March 12th
    Austin, TX
    Beauty Bar
    617 E 7th St
    9pm

    Thursday, March 13
    Austin, TX
    DAY PARTY
    Moose Lodge

    2103 E.M. Franklin Ave.
    Time TBD

    Thursday, March 13
    HOUSTON, TX
    house party
    2502 Leeland St.
    8pm

    Thursday, March 13
    HOUSTON, TX
    Continental Club
    3700 Main St.
    11:30pm

    Friday, March 14
    AUSTIN, TX
    HOUSE PARTY
    1024 E 44th St.
    2:30pm

    Friday, March 14
    DENTON, TX
    Dan’s Silverleaf
    103 Industrial
    w/ Edison Project

    Sunday, March 16
    CHARLOTTESVILLE, VA
    The Satellite Ballroom
    1435 University Ave.
    opening for They Might Be Giants!
    tickets

    Wednesday, February 6
    WILLIAMSBURG
    Trash Bar
    256 Grand St. (between Driggs and Roebling)
    10pm
    $6
    open bar from 8-9 = excellent Thursday

    Thursday, January 24
    NYC
    Mercury Lounge
    217 E Houston St.
    8pm
    CD RELEASE PARTY OF YOUR FAVORITE HAMBURGER IS A CHEESEBURGER

    Saturday, February 2
    Cambridge, MA
    TT the Bear’s Place
    10 Brookline St.
    $12
    with Shaun and Suzi’s Mardi Gras Ball

    Thursday, November 15
    NYC
    Cake Shop
    152 Ludlow
    w/ Anna Copacabana and MG5, Dig My Grave, Professor Pez
    9pm

    Saturday, November 17
    Bethlehem, PA
    Zoellner Arts Center
    Baker Hall Stage
    w/ Sxip Shirey and Adam Matta
    8pm
    $18
    more info

    Saturday, November 10
    Brooklyn, NY
    Galapagos Art Space
    70 North 6th St.
    w/ SO3, the Bollocks, Audition Lab, and DJ G-Force

    Saturday, October 6
    Philadelphia
    The Rotunda
    4014 Walnut Street
    w/ This Ambitious Orchestra, Vic Thrill, Oscuru Quintet, Nicki Jaine, The Absinthe Drinkers and Corn Mo and The .357 Lover
    8pm, $5
    ALL AGES

    Sunday, October 14
    NYC
    Mercury Lounge
    217 E Houston
    9pm
    $8

    Monday, October 15
    NYC
    HOT TUB VARIETY
    w/ Kristen Schaal and Kurt Braunohler
    guests: Corn Mo, Reggie Watts, Cracked Out, and John Oliver
    Pianos
    158 Ludlow
    8pm, Free

    Wednesday, October 31
    NYCUpright Citizens Brigade Theater
    307 W 26th
    Corn Mo and .357 Lover and Last Car
    hosted by Pete Holmes
    9:30pm, $5
    Tickets

    Saturday, September 29
    NYC
    Mo Pitkins
    34 Ave A.
    The Murray Hill Show
    w/ Corn Mo and Angie Pontani
    10pm, $15Saturday, September 8
    NYC
    Parkside Lounge
    317 E Houston at Attorney
    9-10pm
    $5
    SOLO

    Saturday, September 15
    NYC
    Parkside Lounge
    317 E Houston at Attorney
    11:30pm
    $5
    FULL BAND

    Wednesday, September 19
    NYC
    Parkside Lounge
    317 E Houston at Attorney
    8-9pm

    September 21-23
    BOSTON
    AMANDA PALMER, A.R.T
    and Thirsty Girl Productions present
    SXIP’s HOUR of CHARM in Boston!
    Zero Arrow Club, corner of Mass Ave & Arrow St, Cambridge Mass
    The enticing music of Erin McKeown
    The dark and delicious Beat Circus
    Cirque de Soleil’s Eric Davis as “The Red Bastard”
    Rock accordion powerhouse Corn Mo
    Una Mimnagh and the beautiful Corde Lisse
    Sxip and the haunting Industrial Flute
    (Friday and Sunday at 8pm, Saturday at 7pm & 10pm)
    $25 tickets available now at
    www.amrep.org (617) 547-8300

    8/27/07
    Los Angeles
    Hotel Cafe
    w/ Roothub

    8/31/07
    Washington, DC
    Palace of Wonders
    1210 H Street NE
    FULL BAND, 357 Lover
    featuring the Fabulous Miss Una on the trapeze

    9/1/07
    Philadelphia, PA
    Silk City
    435 Spring Garden St.
    FULL BAND, 357 Lover

    9/2/07
    Philadelphia, PA
    Club Polaris
    460 N 9th St.
    w/ Sweatheart, DJ Deejay, and Variety Cabaret
    part of the Philly Fringe Festival

    Saturday, August 18
    NYC
    Zipper Theater
    336 W. 37th St. b/n 8th and 9th
    Corn Mo and .357 Lover
    Guests TBD
    9pm doors, $10
    Tickets

    WEST COAST!
    Monsters of Accordion Tour
    Me, Jason Webley, Duckmandu, and others
    8/21/07
    Seattle, WA
    Fremont Abbey Arts Center
    4272 Fremont Ave N
    8 pm, All Ages, $8
    With special guest:
    Amy Denio and Hell’s Bellows
    Tickets
    (206)297-6221

    8/22/07
    Portland, OR
    The Kennedy School Gym
    5736 NE 33rd Ave.
    7 pm, All Ages, $10
    With special Guest:
    Eric Stern of the Vagabond Opera
    Tickets
    (503)249-3983

    8/23/07
    Eugene, OR
    Sam Bonds Garage
    407 Blair Blvd
    2 shows:
    6 pm, All Ages, $6
    9 pm, 21+, $8
    (541)431-6603
    Tickets at door

    8/24/07
    San Francisco, CA
    12 Galaxies
    2565 Mission St (at 22nd)
    9 pm, 21+, $10
    With special Guest:
    Mark Growden
    (415)970-9777
    Tickets

    8/25/07
    Oakland
    21 Grand
    416 25th St (at Broadway)
    8 pm, All Ages, $8
    With Special guest:
    Kimric Smythe
    (510)444-7263
    Tickets at door

    Monday, August 6
    NYC
    Zipper Theater
    playing a song in a musical writing workshop showcase called Hooked
    336 W. 37th St.
    b/n 8th and 9th
    8pm, $10

    Thursday, August 9
    NYC
    Highline Ballroom
    431 W 16th St New York, NY 10011
    between 9th and 10th Ave
    not doing full set, but performing Bohemian Rhapsody with the Main Squeeze Orchestra, Walter Kuhr’s all-female accordion orchestra
    Doors at 6:00 PM
    MSO at 8:00 PM
    Tickets $10.00 in advance / $12.00 at door.

    Saturday, July 7
    NYC
    Parkside Lounge
    317 E Houston (at Attorney)
    w/ Jerm Pollet
    7pm, FREE
    FULL SOLO SET WITH PIANO AND ACCORDION

    TMBG TOUR!
    Wednesday, July 18
    NYC
    The Bowery Ballroom
    8pm, Ages 16+
    Tickets

    Thursday, July 19
    Dewey Beach, DE
    Bottle & Cork
    9:30pm, Ages 21+
    Tickets

    Friday, July 20
    Lancaster, PA
    The Chameleon
    8 pm, Ages 14+
    Tickets

    Saturday, July 21
    Cleveland, OH
    Beachland Ballroom
    9pm
    Tickets

    Thursday, July 26
    Seaside Park, NJ
    The Green Room
    10pm, Ages 21+
    Tickets

    Friday, July 27
    Wellfleet, MA
    Wellfleet Beachcomber
    10pm, Ages 21+
    Tickets

    Tuesday, July 31
    Brooklyn, NY
    Union Hall
    702 Union St. @5th Ave
    FULL BAND, .357LOVER
    w/ Odd Czar and The Edison Project
    show starts 8, we go on at 10
    $7

    Monday, July 2
    NYC
    Zipper Theater
    playing a song in a musical writing workshop showcase called Hooked
    336 W. 37th St.
    b/n 8th and 9th
    8pm, $10

    Tuesday, July 3
    NYC
    Parkside Lounge
    317 E Houston (at Attorney)
    9:30pm, $5
    FULL SOLO SET WITH PIANO AND ACCORDION
    with JASON TRACHTENBURG AND JERM POLLET
    Wednesday, June 20
    BROOKLYN
    Trash Bar
    256 Grand St.
    Poingly’s birthday w/ Project Jenny Project Jan, Dracula Zombie USA, Poingly, and Corn Mo
    .357 Lover
    FULL BAND

    Saturday, June 23
    ASBURY PARK, NJ
    School of Rock Festival w/ Ween
    2 SOLO SETS:
    Main Stage – Noon-12:20pm
    Asbury Lanes – 10:30-11pm

    Sunday, June 3
    NYC
    ZIPPER THEATER
    336 W 37th St (b/n 8th and 9th)
    *HOOKED* An Evening of Performances from First Year Students of the BMI Musical Theatre Workshop
    I’ll be performing a song I co-wrote with one of the students, Una Mimnagh.
    7pm, $5

    Tuesday, June 5
    NYC
    Parkside Lounge
    317 E Houston at Attorney
    10pm, $5
    SOLO

    Wednesday, June 6
    PROVIDENCE, RI
    AS220
    115 Empire St.
    w/ Superchief Trio and Sentimental Favorites
    9pm
    SOLO

    Saturday, June 9
    WASHINGTON, DC
    Palace of Wonders
    1210 H St. NE
    $10
    FULL BAND

    Friday, June 1
    NYC
    Parkside Lounge
    357 LOVER
    317 E Houston at Attorney
    8pm, $5
    FULL BAND

    Saturday, May 19
    NYC
    Mo Pitkins
    34 Ave A. at 4th St.
    10pm, $12
    I’m not doing a set but will be performing Bohemian Rhapsody with the Main-Squeeze Orchestra, Walter Kuhr’s female accordion orchestra.

    Friday, May 25
    NYC
    Corio
    337 W Broadway between Grand and Broome
    FILTHY GORGEOUS BURLESQUE
    Doors open at 7 pm – $20 Entertainment Fee
    Hosted by Scotty the Blue Bunny
    w/ Amber Ray, Gigi La Femme, Scarlet Sinclair, Little Brooklyn, Kissing Cousins, and Corn Mo

    Wednesday, May 16
    NYC
    w/ Ukuleke Funny Ladies, Katie Down, Bliss, Jamie Scandal, The Hazzards, The Two Man Gentleman Band, Deenie Nast, Dave Hill, Corn Mo and The Glass Contraption
    8pm
    $12, $15 at door
    benefit to help the Topsy Center for Children Living with HIV in South Africa
    more info
    SOLO
    Tuesday, May 8
    NYC
    Parkside Lounge
    317 E Houston at Attorney
    8:45pm, $5
    with the full band, .357 Lover
    and special guests

    Saturday, April 28
    DENTON, TX
    Dan’s Silverleaf
    103 Industrial
    Kittenpants Birthday
    FULL BAND: .357 Lover
    After our set, we will be backing the great Andrew WK
    also starring, Telethon!

    Monday, April 23
    NYC
    Mo Pitkins
    34 Ave A
    The Three Pillars of Comedy
    musical guest: Corn Mo
    8:30pm, $6
    Tickets

    Sunday, April 15
    NYC
    Zipper Theater
    336 W. 37th St. b/n 8th & 9th Ave
    The Trapeze Loft Benefit
    w/ The Wau Wau Sisters, Scotty the Blue Bunny, Corn Mo playing for the Fabulous Miss Una and more.
    Tickets

    Thursday, April 19
    NYC
    Bowery Poetry Club
    308 Bowery
    The Anna Copa Cabana Show
    w/ musical guests, Corn Mo and Uncle Monk
    10pm, $8

    Thursday, March 29
    NYC
    Knitting Factory
    Old Office
    74 Leonard St.
    FULL BAND: .357 Lover
    11pm, $8
    Come early (7pm) to see great bands like Spinning Hardcore, Handsome Public, Communication Corporation and the great Uncle Monsterface!
    Tickets

    Tuesday, April 3
    NYC
    Canal Room
    285 W. Broadway at Canal St.
    w/ The Trachtenburg Family Slideshow Players

    Tuesday, March 27
    NYC
    Parkside Lounge
    317 E Houston (at Attorney)
    10pm
    $5
    w/ Jason Webley
    SOLO

    Friday, March 23
    NYC
    Mo Pitkins
    34 Ave A.
    w/ Hair Supply
    FULL BAND: .357 Lover!

    Thursday, March 15
    NYC
    Parkside Lounge
    317 Houston at Attorney
    9pm
    $5
    w/ The NIghtgame Cult from Denton
    FULL BAND

    Saturday, March 17
    ASBURY PARK, NJ
    Asbury Lanes
    209 4th Ave.
    8pm
    Burlesqueapades
    FULL BAND: .357 Lover!

    Tuesday, February 27
    NYC
    The Pit
    154 W 29th St. b/n 6th and 7th
    8pm
    $5
    “Here’s the Thing”
    SOLO

    March 6
    NYC
    The Pit
    154 W 29th St. b/n 6th and 7th
    “Comic Book Club”
    SOLO

    Friday, March 9 and Saturday, March 10
    NYC
    Joe’s Pub
    425 Lafayette St.
    11:30pm
    $18/$20 at door
    Burlesqueapades w/ The Pontani Sisters, Mr. Murray Hill, Trixie Little and the Evil Hate Monkey, The Fisherman Xylophonic Orchestra, Peekaboo Pointe, Harvest Moon, and Corn Mo
    SOLO

    Saturday, February 24
    NYC
    Bowery Poetry Club
    308 Bowery b/n Houston and Bleeker
    10pm
    $8
    Dana’s Birthday!
    w/ Jollyship the Whizbang
    SOLO

    Monday, February 12
    NYC
    Parkside Lounge
    317 E Houston (at Attorney)
    9:30
    $5
    My friend, Johnny Murder, is coming into town. He wanted to do a show. So, I’ll do a short set and then enjoy the sounds of the Dutch Treats. If you haven’t heard him before, then you’re in for a treat. We were in an art rock band back in Texas called The Dooms UK. And The Golden Vipers. and Codename: Fuck. and the Scorpion Notes.

    Tuesday, February 13
    BALTIMORE
    Ottobar
    2549 N. Howard St.
    9pm, $10 advance, $12 day of show
    SOLO
    w/ The World Famous Pontani Sisters, Mr. Murray Hill, The Fisherman Xylophone Orchestra, Trixie Little and the Evil Hate Monkey and more!
    Tickets

    Wednesday, February 14
    ARLINGTON, VA
    The Birchmere
    3701 Mt. Vernon Ave
    7:30pm, $19.50
    SOLO
    w/ The World Famous Pontani Sisters, Mr. Murray Hill, The Fisherman Xylophone Orchestra, Trixie Little and the Evil Hate Monkey and more!
    Tickets

    Saturday, February 10
    NYC
    Magic Brian’s Farewell Show
    My buddy, Magic Brian, is leaving the country and wants me and some other friends to do a show with him one last time.
    I’ll do a couple of songs and then some stuff with Magic. Other magicians and performers will be there.
    Parkside Lounge
    317 E Houston
    9pm
    $7
    www.magicbrian.com

    Tuesday, Jan 30
    NYC
    Parkside Lounge
    317 Houston (at Attorney)
    10pm
    FREE
    FULL BAND

    Wednesday, Jan 31
    NYC
    Joe’s Pub
    425 Lafayette St
    Sxip’s Hour of Charm with Amanda Palmer, Corn Mo, Reggie Watts, Greg Walloch, Scotty the Blue Bunny, Project Jenny Project Jan, Curtis Eller and The Red Bastard
    7:30pm
    tickets
    SOLO

    Friday, January 12
    BOSTON
    Middle East Downstairs
    472/480 Mass Ave.
    FULL BAND

    Wednesday, January 24
    BROOKLYN
    Europa Night Club
    98-104 Meserole Ave (corner of Manhattan Ave)
    7pm doors
    $8
    w/ Angelo Spencer, Uncle Monsterface, and Jollyship the Whizbang (puppet rock)
    tickets
    ALL AGES SHOW
    SOLO

    Saturday, January 6
    NYC
    Parkside Lounge
    317 E Houston (at Attorney)
    11:30pm, $5
    Full Band
    w/ Paul Slavens

    Saturday, December 2
    NYC
    Parkside Lounge
    317 E Houston (at Attorney)
    8pm, $5
    w/ Jason Trachtenburg

    Saturday, October 28
    NYC
    Parkside Lounge
    317 E Houston
    7:30pm, $5

    Sunday, October 29
    Sayreville, NJ
    Starland Ballroom
    w/ The Dresden Dolls

    BEN FOLDS TOUR

    Tuesday, October 31
    Ft Worth, TX
    Will Rogers Coliseum

    Friday, November 3
    Austin, TX
    Stubb’s BBQ

    Saturday, November 4
    Tulsa, OK
    Cain’s Ballroom

    Sunday, November 5
    Columbia, MO
    Jesse Auditorium

    Monday, November 6
    Lawrence, KS
    Lied Center

    Thursday, November 9
    Bloomington, IN
    Indiana University Auditorium

    Saturday, November 11
    Geneseo, NY
    Kuhl Gym @ SUNY Geneseo

    Sunday, November 12
    Fredonia, NY
    SUNY / Fredonia

    Tuesday, November 14
    Columbia, SC
    Koger Center

    Wednesday, November 15
    Washington, DC
    Bender Arena

    Friday, November 17
    Brooklyn, NY
    Warsaw

    Saturday, November 18
    Chestertown, MD
    Washington College

    Sunday, November 19
    NYC
    Hammerstein Ballroom

    Monday, November 20
    NYC
    Beacon Theater
    Friday, October 20
    NYC
    Knitting Factory
    74 Leonard St.
    w/ Los Straitjackets and the World Famous Pontani Sisters w/ Kaiser George
    doors 7pm, Corn Mo at 8pm
    $14
    Tickets

    UK Tour with Common Rotation Thursday, October 5

    Thursday, October 5LONDON

    The Troubadour

    265 Old Brompton Road

    8pm
    Ticketshttp://www17.serrahost.com/servlet/commonrotationcom/Detail?no=29″>Tickets>
    Friday, October 6

    BELFASTLavery’s-The Bunker
    Ticketshttp://www17.serrahost.com/servlet/commonrotationcom/Detail?no=33″>Tickets>
    Saturday, October 7

    Lavery’s-The Bunkerhttp://www17.serrahost.com/servlet/commonrotationcom/Detail?no=33″>Tickets>Saturday, October 7GLASGOW

    G2

    474 Sauchiehall St.

    7pm
    Ticketshttp://www.ticketweb.co.uk/user/?region=uk&query=detail&event=156511&interface=cpl”>Tickets>
    Saturday, October 14

    NYC

    Skizum Studios

    135 Plymouth Loft #209

    DUMBO Brooklyn

    RSVP to: action@myamericatoo.com)’; return true;” onmouseout=”window.status=”;” xhref=”javascript:open_compose_win(‘to=action%40myamericatoo.com&thismailbox=INBOX’);” mce_href=”javascript:open_compose_win(‘to=action%40myamericatoo.com&thismailbox=INBOX’);”>action@myamericatoo.com required

    $5 donation
    Friday, September 8
    NYC
    3 Legged Dog
    80 Greenwich St. (Greenwich and Rector St.)
    (Take the R,W Train to Rector St., 1 block west)
    3LD Late Night Variety Showcase
    Scotty the Blue Bunny, Corn Mo, Miss Saturn, Chris Rozzi, and Mike
    O’Connell
    10pm, $5

    Saturday, September 9
    NYC
    Theater for the New City
    155 First Avenue (between 9th and 10th Streets)
    8pm, $20
    Circus Contraption’s NYC Variety Cabaret
    * Burlesque trapeze artist extraordinaire Tanya Gagne of the WauWau
    Sisters
    * Sword-swallowing beauty Miss Heather Holliday of the Coney Island
    * Sideshow Prestidigitous trombone-baiter and Flying Karamazov
    Brother, Mark Ettinger
    * The world’s most dangerous magician, Magic Brian, as Dr. Frangible
    * Corn Mo
    * New York City stunt musician, Sxip Shirey
    * Vocal acrobat and comedian Zero Boy
    * Trav S. D., local vaudevillian and author of “No Applause, Just throw
    Money”
    * Cabaret nightingale Miss DiTolvo
    * From Seattle, living cartoon Godfrey Daniels
    * And Berlin’s esteemed Golden Nose winner Hacki with guest clown Moeppi
    * Plus Circus Contraption aerialists, acrobats and the fabulous Circus
    Contraption Band!

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