We played another living room show last night in Dubois, PA. It was at Steve’s house. Steve’s real cool. Real cool. He invited all his friends, got snacks and beer, and treated us very well.

“I like your town.”

“Yeah, but you don’t live here.”

I liked the town.

The dressing room assigned wasn’t like the 4 year old’s room. It was Steve’s room and he had a Danger Danger poster on the wall. He was impressed that I knew who they were. It was a lovely home. I could live in that town.

I opened and went downstairs to set up. My backdrop was a wall of signed pictures of different characters from the show, “Buffy, the Vampire Slayer.” Two were Spike, two were Julie Benz (she’s real pretty), two were the guy with the green face, and more of people I didn’t recognize. And there was Adam’s picture. I need to watch that show more.

I did a short set because we got there late. The folks were really nice. Really nice. I sold some cd’s from a 3 song set. That hasn’t happened in a long time. These guys were really into helping us.

Common Rotation’s set went really well. I joined them on their last two songs.

We drove to Scranton and crashed and saw the Spree on Craig Kilborn. The sound was terrible. Network tv should have good sound.

Jory’s playing Star Wars on his new gameboy.

I’m real nervous about Friday’s show.

I played my first “Living Room” show with Common Rotation last night. These are shows that CR books online with their fans. It’s a great idea: CR shows up at your house and you host them and strangers adorn your living room couches and floor.

They’d told me stories about them-like the host freaking out because there were too many people, or the surrealness of waiting in the kid’s bedroom until showtime.

When we arrived at the suburban Pittsburgh home I started getting nervous as I always do. Jory went to check things out (it’s protocol for us to wait in the car until the lay of the land is sussed out).

He came back, poked his head in the car and said, “There’s like 8 ladies there. We’re gonna wait for more people.”

I said, “I feel like Patrick Dempsey.”

Then Adam goes, “We should deliver some pizza.”

More people showed up and we made our way in to the “dressing room” which was the 4 year old’s bedroom. You could tell she had cool parents. She had a plethora of instruments: a wood xylophone, a toy electric guitar, a karoake mike, and some other stuff. And she had a bunch of games that looked like it was her parents’ at one time (Creeple Peeple, Addams Family card game).

We waited and played her instruments. Then, I went to open the show. I tailored my set to fit a crowd that included 2 four-year-olds and a three-year-old. They sat in the front row and I tried real hard to watch my language.

When I was a ringmaster I amazed myself in how I never let out dirty-word during my run. This show, however, seemed a big feat in watching my mouth.

The 3 girls watched and had their ears covered. This usually pisses me off but they are under 5 years of age and I understand. I saw one guy, around 24 years old, hold his ears once and I looked at him and said, “It’s okay, I’m done.” And he took his hands off his ears and I crashed the cymbal as I finished my song. I was clearly an asshole. I respect children’s ears though. And the 2 four-year-olds took their hands off and got really excited when I hit the cymbal.

Years ago, I used to play the birthdays of my old bosses’ kid. He and his wife were good folks and the kid was nice, too. But it was frustrating playing to no one in a living room with kids running around. I remember the bosses’ wife came in a watched the rest of my set. She was real nice.

So, I had a bad flashback of that moment and other moments when kids were let loose at shows. I can’t concentrate. All I can do is look at the kids do stuff and then look at the parents to see what they’re doing and then come back to playing my song.

At one point, I was playing a new song and stopped because I’d messed up and went on. I messed up a second time and just stopped playing all together. I was flustered. I can’t remember what I explained to the audience except that I inserted the word, “awkward”, in there somewhere.

I cut my set short. I wouldn’t allow myself to deal with two shows going on.

So, I played two more songs. Finishing the show, I walked upstairs, and saw the “I’m sorry” faces of CR.

I told them it wasn’t that bad. I felt that I’d failed. They went on to do their set and I sat up in the little girl’s room reading her books.

One book was about this guy who made dinosaur drawings and sculptures at the end of the 19th century. He was very passionate about his work and became very good at it. He came to New York from Britain to work on some pieces in Central Park but Boss Tweed cut his funding saying his work was bullshit. The old man continued building his dinosaurs. One night, some thugs that worked for Tweed, came in and destroyed his work. The old man went back to England and continued painting murals and sculptures of dinosaurs.

I went downstairs and played with CR on their last 2 songs. We finished, packed up and talked to the folks that came. Really nice people.

I needed to unwind so we agreed on Applebee’s, a wonderfully bad dine. I got all-you-can-eat ribs that were terrible and enjoyed sharing them with my friends who had bad mashed potatoes.

“To All My Friends!”

Jory (of Common Rotation) got a Gameboy. I played 007 on it. It’s good to have when you’re driving at night and your booklight is out. I’m reading “Them” by Jon Ronson and it’s a great read.

My voice is better. The beer fast helped.

I watched Steven Segal last night. He focuses well when he fights. I liked Timecop with Van Damme. He’s a little tragic and I like that. I hope he wins.

Jory’s got Rhapsody. I’m listening to Tiny Tim sing “Somewhere Over the Rainbow”. I love Tiny Tim. I got to open for him once. What a wonderful performer. He gave his all. He would go on one knee to bring it home and would need help getting back up. Genuine and genius he was. A beautiful man.

You know who else is still awesome? David Lee Roth. The first time my band played in high school I rented his video and watched his moves. We covered “Yankee Rose” and I got the kick in on “when she walks, watch, the sparks will fly”. I finally got to see him last year with my friend, Jake. He’s still awesome.

And Enrico Caruso. He had a wonderful voice. I’m listening to him right now, also.

I’ve been playing with the Giants during their set on Particle Man. I feel like I’ve won a contest. It’s awesome. I stand in between them and they smile on me. If you took all the adjectives that describe amazing that’s what it’s like.

John Linnel and Carl Finch got me into playing accordion and so it’s kickass to trade licks with Linnel on stage.

Flansburg shows me his guitar hands to remind me of the chords.

The Giants are true gold. True gold.

I just finished my set. I’m worn out. The stage was real hot. I’m gonna run tommorrow morning. I play better when I’ve run. I drove last night from my folks house in Kentucky to Pittsburg and then stayed at a shitty motel with a nice staff. All the motels were full. The motel lounge band was just finishing their set with “Sgt Pepper”. My room didn’t have a working light so the guy put a new bulb in while I had half a beer at the bar.

I asked for a late checkout and he asked for 5 bucks. So, I gave him five bucks cause I was real tired. I usually like to fall asleep to the tv but I was too tired to bother. I think there was a shitload of bedbugs in my bed. I had a hard time getting to sleep because of the little bugs. I couldn’t see them when I turned on the light.

One time, this guy at Barnes and Noble was sitting at a table in the coffee section, reading a Star Trek novel with two cups of water. He was very methodical in the way he drank his two little cups.

My girlfriend, Una, had a black sweater on and her arm was resting on the chair that his bag was sitting.

He said, “You might not want to put your arm there. My friends my get on you.”

There were all these white bugs crawling out of his bag and onto Una’s sweater. It was crazy. I’ve never seen those kind of bugs. These ghost-like bugs ranged from tick-size to chigger-size. It was awesome.

“There’s a hole in my wall. They live with me.”

He got up to get two more waters and my girlfriend and I went to another table. I felt shame as he walked back to the table but the look on his face seemed he understood us moving.

So, I was looking for those bugs in the bed but I couldn’t see them so I tried to tell myself there was nothing there and I fell asleep.

Shit, I bet they were crabs!

I’m in Pittsburg right now. My stomach feels uneasy. Common Rotation is on stage right now. They do really well with the crowd. I get nervous before every show and I can’t tell if this stomach is just nerves or partly the chinese food I had earlier. I think it’s both.

My sweet grandmother was upset that she forgot my birthday and made me a pie for my birthday. My birthday was last month and she made me a pie then. She’s a sweet, sweet lady.

I hope I rock Pittsburg tonight.

Madison.com:

The show opened with a short but well-received set by the amiable trio Common Rotation, which played clever pop-folk music. But the most memorable of the two opening acts was Corn Mo, who boasts a sparkling suit and a glorious mane of hair and plays heavy metal songs on his accordion about his eighth-grade girlfriend and being mistaken for actor Gary Busey.

It was pretty funny, but what made Corn Mo’s set click is that he really sold his music, never for a second winking at the audience or suggesting it was all a put-on. When he closed with Queen’s “We Are the Champions” and a speech exhorting the crowd to “get on your horse and ride,” it was weirdly inspirational.

Dear Colin,

I seriously teared up reading this. I will take on

your mission. I think you’re right that there is a

lot of good music that is uninvestigated. Most radio

is enjoyed by running in the hamster wheel. I think

clear channel is a beast that cannot be conquered

until satellite radio is the norm. Sunday night radio

shows are an oasis for people like you but you have to

have your sunday’s scheduled for such. Inspiration

needs to happen every day.

I get pissed off when someone casually brushes off the

Polyphonic Spree as another Flaming Lips when the

radio is full of bands that sound like the band before

it that sounds like the band before it. It’s hard for

some people to allow the magic to rock them. It takes

a concerted effort. So, I don’t know. I’ll keep doing

what I’m doing and hopefully those in the power of

media will catch on and we will all have better days.

Love,

Mo

My friend, Matt, came to the show. I met him when I was out with the Spree. His job allows to pop up at shows all over the map. My rider requires “a townie to drink with” and I dubbed him the guy. I’d planned on sleeping in the car that I’d borrowed from my roommate’s girlfriend, Kim, but Matt needed a place and he knew people. 2 people more than I did. He got hold of this girl, Amber. She said a little more notice would be good. Matt had met her at a show she did with her band in Dayton that ended with a real shoot-out.

We met up at Brothers. I thought it was a place to get pizza. It was a bar. A good bar but I was beered out. I had to drive, too. There are some days when I just don’t want to drink and that was one of them. After shows, sometimes I can’t really drink beer. I hit a wall. We met up with Amber and Marcha at this nice place and after a couple of cokes we went back to Amber’s.

She’s a puppeteer. Her puppet, Mark, has cerebral palsy and has his own puppet wheelchair. I held Mark most of the night and made Amber talk while I moved his mouth. He ended up sleeping between Matt and me on the pull-out futon. Amber was a gracious host, making us let her make us pierogis and putting on a Syd Barrett dvd for me to fall asleep to.

And yes they were very pretty.

I’ve been out of shape lateley. I’ve been spending time with my folks in KY. Since my mom is sick, the nice folks from church have been bringing food to the house so I’ve done my part be eating it. I didn’t want to bother my dad to use his gym pass so I got Lose Weight Exercise my mowing the lawn (a treat since my Brooklyn home has no lawn).

So, when I got to Columbus after driving 8 hours from Brooklyn, I was excited and tired and nervous about playing a show so rusty.

I think I’ve mentioned this beofre but opening for the Giants couldn’t be a better fit for me. It’s as if someone tailored a crowd to fit what I do.

“Here you go. Now rock them.”

The Promowest Pavillion is a mini-amphitheater in the style of Dallas’ Starplex with the size of Austin’s Stubbs. Most venues don’t look at my rider (what I want). With good reason I guess, because I’m just the opening act. But here, the guy asked if I really wanted wings. I had to say no because I didn’t really NEED wings.

I love wings. I’ll tell you where in NY to get wings: Scruffy Murphy’s in Hell’s Kitchen.

I went to Hooter’s with my friends Kelly and Todd Deatherage after watching Ben Kweller and Katie Holmes at Carson Daly Live. I was a little depressed and Kelly wanted to go to Hooter’s because they have Miller Lite on tap. And by the way, Katie Holmes is very beautiful. They make her homely on Dawson. But I definitely digress.

Oh yeah, Hooter’s wings suck. I like girls in tight shorts just like the next guy but don’t be duped. Go order wings from a real bar and go to the park.

Don’t get me started on wingz.

I like going on stage and people yell for you and not at you. It’s nice. TMBG crowds are nice. Polyphonic Spree crowds are nice, too. It was a good show.

My voice held up. My banter was a little off. My stamina gave a little. By the time the show was over, I felt like I ran 3 miles. No. 5 miles. It felt really good. The merch table was the best part because I was never without good company. I met some real good people. Very nice folks.

Minneapolis was excellent. We played at 1st Avenue, the club from Purple Rain. Common Rotation ruled their set. The Giants ruled their set.

My accordion was back to “normal” so I had complete confidence and took that to the stage. It felt really good.

I met some nice folks by the table, including Rick, who saw me about 4 years ago in New Orleans when I was in the Circus. He and friends came to our show at the Shim Sham Club for a bachelor party.

There were good pinball games but I couldn’t get the change machine to take my money. I used to play Funland all the time. They didn’t have it, I just remember it.

I’m kinda sick right now.

Jory got some new shoes. They look real good. Co Ro’s friend from a movie set invited us to a party. She’s real nice. It was a kind of wrap party for a movie about Charles Bukowski. Matt Dillon is Bukowski.

A girl had sex sitting right next to me. I guess they do those things in garages. She interrupted my conversation with her guy guy. Adam was trying to tell me what was going on with his eyes. I’m not good at it. Right next me! How do you do that? I didn’t even see it! I was watching the karaoke people singing “La Bamba”.

Now I know what Adam’s conversation about girlfriends on the road was about.

I hope my cough goes away.

I broke my accordion in Madison.

I’ve never been to Wisconsin. I love cheese and there’s a place to get some at every major highway stop. Me and Rotation split some cheese curds, which are hard to find.

I got picked up at the airport by my old roommate’s sister, Jess. She showed me the Oscar Mayer factory and as we passed by, it smelled like sweet cooked meat. I shit you not. It didn’t smell like I thought it would.

I met Common Rotation for the first time at this show. It was like a first day of school with them for I would be sharing the car with them for the whole trip and didn’t know what to expect. They’re all nice fellows.

My accordion broke during sound check. I had just had it serviced the day before. I took it downstairs and opened it up and the reeds on the bass side had fallen out. My guy didn’t put the pins back in and he’d given me a lecture on how I need to have a real service done to my axe if I’m gonna be a professional. So, he half-ass fixed it. And that part wasn’t broken.

You learn how to fix accordions as they break. Linnel and Finch told me that and I’ve been learning a lot lately.

I put the reeds back in and waited til showtime. I was gonna eat but I remembered that I’ve thrown up during shows with meals. So, I left it out.

During the first song, I noticed something wrong. And I noticed that it was still messed up. Awesome.

My chord buttons weren’t working right. So, I played only songs that used root notes in the bass. It definitely affected my performance. My confidence level was down and so was my poker face. I did best I could at being the greatest entertainer possible and from the crowd’s response it was working but I was definitely off by playing a broken accordion.

Dear Mr. Mo:

>

> I saw you perform before the They Might Be Giants

> show in Madison,

> Wisconsin. I don’t expect you to remember, but I

> shook your hand and said

> that I’d never heard an accordion rock so hard

> before. I’ve just finished

> listening to your album I Hope You Win!, and I would

> like to make a request.

>

> Could you please rescue us from the current state of

> popular music? I

> understand that I’m charging you with a big quest,

> but myself and others

> like me are looking for heroes. Many have tried —

> oh, how they have tried.

> They Might Be Giants have been releasing

> consistently good music for

> years, and they’re still under the radar. Older

> acts like Blue Oyster Cult

> have tried to rescue us by releasing good new music,

> but I don’t think

> anybody’s listening. “Weird Al” Yankovic used to

> sort of have the accordion

> thing going on, but now he’s almost a tool of the

> mainstream media. The

> family of the late Frank Zappa keeps unearthing

> unreleased recordings, but

> they only appeal to Zappa fans.

>

> I think the problem comes from the fact that

> everybody’s heard of these

> bands, and they’re not willing to investigate even

> the possibility of

> something new and innovative from them. Meanwhile,

> the music industry keeps

> shoving Britney down our throats, and we keep buying

> her. Unfortunately, I

> cannot offer you the resources, industry

> connections, or knowledge to fix

> it, but the music industry really needs a jump

> start. As far as I can tell,

> Corn Mo is the kind of jump start I’m talking about.

>

> Think about it, okay? The people need you.

>

> Colin