Yesterday, I put it out there.  I threw it to him gently.

“Just go slow.”

He swang his head back and forth like saying “no” and then dove his head to the paper.  It wasn’t dinnertime.  It was reading time and he tried so hard.  Dr. Frankenstein probably cried a little trying to get his monster to talk and I was tearing up watching my dog struggle to read.

He lifted his head like he was going to throw up. Baring his fangs, he hacked up, “I can’t”.

There was this guy named Diamond who wore a pair of pants that had spurs pointing inward at the side belt loops.  When it was time to hustle he’d pat his hips and run from the pain.

Spurs

When he raced the legend, Carl Johnson, for pinks (in running that’s shoes) he prodded himself and beat the olympic runner in street racing, on a course that included a fake market made of balsa wood and sugar.  When the runner bumps into a market stand, the sugar fruit creates a kind of oil slick for the opponent and the cardboard vendors’ "upset trigger" is released, making their cardboard arms fly up and down in a shaking motion via pendulum action.

A passerby gave Diamond a new name, Leggs Diamond, and was promptly sued. But a sometime girlfriend decided he should be called Diamond Showdowns in reference to his pre-run side patting of the spurs.

Diamond never made it to the pros because he "didn’t want that kind of glory."  These times, he races unbroken ponies on Assateague Island and no one ever sees it happen because there are no fake markets to knock down in the moonlight.

Pony promotional picture

He also fullback fishes.  That’s catching a fish midair on the surf in the fashion of a touchdown.  Sometimes you can catch him cooking his catch on an open fire while the ponies eat carrots and saltlicks with forks attached to their bridles.

Rudolf Schenker displaying funny use of bridle forks.  Ponies laugh.

In any event, you have to be cool to be around Showdowns Diamond.  Otherwise, you have to leave.

Trey loved the wet field. He walked with his pant legs rolled up. The bugs would jump from drinking dew, parting the way for Trey. One time, Trey’s leg slipped into a hole, making him thrust forward, losing control of his balance, breaking his leg. He knew it was broken because he heard the snap.
What he didn’t know was that his brother Billy was behind him the whole time.
“Boo!”
“Huh? Oh, thank goodness, Billy. I don’t know why you’re here but I’m so glad for this moment. Please go run for help. I can’t walk.”
“Sure, thing, Trey. Hey, can you write this paper about The Pony Express for me since you’re all invalid for the moment?”
“Anything, brother. Now run. Run like tomorrow is too late from yesterday!”
“Wha? Okay.”
And Trey sat and thought about some things he needed to change about his life. And then he picked up a pencil from Billy’s Trapper and began writing a brilliant essay about the Pony Express.
Trey started feeling hungry and reached inside Billy’s backpack for a candy bar or an apple. Nothing. He turned around more, not noticing that there was no pain to notice and saw eight broken stalks of celery.
His first thought was “Hey celery!”
His second thought was “I wish I had some peanut butter or cream cheese!”
His third thought was “DAMN YOU BILLY!” for his leg was not broken. Only the celery. And he was mad, yet grateful, and yet more mad than grateful.
And he walked home eating the broken celery very angry until he thought of how he didn’t like celery in soup.

A fool am I! I put down a 2 instead of a 4 and now I can’t finish what I started! In the vein of a sloppy Tesla, I was in the middle of showing off something brown and something fun. It’s not a diamond maker but its close! Oh fie on me!
You know how many filibusters I went through to get this one order in? It would be a filibuster to go through the first day’s list! Oh poop my eyes!
I was going to have the most wonderful unveiling meeting in conference room 10 at the Hyatt on the Riverwalk.
Stupendous mismash!
When I finally get the gumption to restart yesterday’s restarting point I will remember my mistakes and show you the most magnificent work since I don’t know what -Synthetic Tiger’s Milk? Dammit!