Monthly Archives August 2005

Purchase College

I bought a soft case for my piano on Saturday so that I wouldn’t have to carry my big, hard case on the train. I hate going into music stores and magic stores. I always feel like an idiot. I should leave magic stores alone, anyway. I’ve got enough crap I can try to master without buying the latest bank breaker.
Speaking of magic, I had time after getting my case to get a beer with Magic Brian and Riley. Magic’s been gone all summer street performing in Europe so it was good seeing him again. I like the smell of beer. I guess that makes me a dork but I already told you I do magic tricks.
On Sunday I played at Purchase College. I took the Metro train to White Plains and then waited for the #12 bus...

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“Die Legende von Herrn Admiral Nacht die Seite Tänzer und der Platz Tätowieren”

This was an article found on the floor in the residence of the late Mr. Issac Woodall of Kansas City, MO on January 17, 2005 . No clues as to what newspaper it was collected from but some document-hobbyists claim it never went to press. The article was written in German, thus this is my loose translation of said piece.

“Die Legende von Herrn Admiral Nacht die Seite Tänzer und der Platz Tätowieren”
January 10, 1866 by way of January 9, 1985 – A playful animal, the deer. Especially moon deer. Once in 1813, one of the deer, Sir Admiral Nightside Dancer, put on a wonderful display from the sweat of bipedal beavers. A temple, dedicated to Nightside, lit up so much that the Council of Fifteen decided it was going to alert Blue Planet (our earth) to their secret life...

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August 2005

Haven’t kept up with my own news. But, no news is good news. Plus, I hate writing news. Writing in third person feels stupid. So, I guess this is bloggy news.

New CD

I’m working on a new cd. Many tracks are done, including “Havi Nagila Monster”. The tentative title is “Your Favorite Hamburger is a Cheeseburger”.

I had some computer problems in getting the tracks uploaded. I think its working now. I’m apprehensive about them because I’m on a budget. I work with what I got.

Some songs are short and some are really short.

Each cd will come with a live ant with your name written across its back. In my blood. Some cd’s will have earthworms instead. If you get one of those, you get to visit my chocolate factory. You’ll each get a chocolate statue of yourself to eat...

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George Michael Fan Fiction

George Michael has a perch in his giant flat in London. It was only a rumour until now. When he pulls back his copy of “Can’t Reach October”, all the walls gain mysterious shadows that resemble the inside of a cage and a long plank of log slides out from a side wall about the height of where a second floor would be.
He stands on this perch and sounds you can’t hear anywhere else come alive. What a bird! What a beautiful bird he becomes! Charlotte Church once visited during his private time and fainted from wonderous clarity! He promptly smoked two cigars so that she would think it was only a dream.
Well, anyways, you will never hear this angelic audio for it is for no one but George.
One day, while wiping his forehead with a cloth due to a clean perspiration, George felt a new stubbl...

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Circus By the Sea!

EVERY WEDNESDAY IN AUGUST AT 8pm!
Circus By the Sea
A rock musical by Corn Mo and the Fabulous Miss Una
The Bowery Poetry Club
308 Bowery (across from CBGB’s)
$20

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Boston, Sept 3

Saturday, September 3
JAMAICA PLAIN, MA
MIDWAY CAFE
3496 Washington Street
w/ Heloise and Alan Astor and YOUNG SEXY ASSASSINS!

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Parkside Lounge -TONIGHT!

Saturday, Aug 20
NYC
BIG ASS BEER NIGHT AT THE ARGO
PARKSIDE LOUNGE
317 E Houston
10pm
$5
w/ Corn Mo, Fishboy, Sarah Ruth, Dutch Treats and Paul Slavens. Come see my Denton pals!

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Purchase College

Sunday, August 28
PURCHASE, NY
PURCHASE COLLEGE
Southside Lounge
8pm

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Ben Folds at the Borgata in Atlantic City

I had a blast in AC. Ben’s been hanging with his family so me and Jared and Lindsey went to the Steel Pier and got hooked up on free rides. The guys that run that place are real nice.
We rode go-karts and I kicked ass until this young guy grabbed his chest inside his car. He looked about 12. I think he was okay but it was a real scare. I felt bad for his dad. I can’t imagine how bad it sucks to see your kid hurt like that.
Then, me and Jared rode the Rocket. That ride’s bad ass. It shoots you 200 feet in the air and its hard to process your bearings, so its a true thrill ride and not a “nod” to thrill rides.
We went to get dinner at the ac bar and grill where lobster is cheap and the beer is delicious. I got a bloody mary there once and they put Old Bay seasoning in it...

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My friend needs help

My friend Jen is about to be deported. If she does, my friend and former roommate, Dave, will have to leave the country, also, because she is his wife, his friend for life. In the meantime, Jen can’t visit her relatives because then she’ll never be able to come back to the states.
Jen and Dave are filmmakers. You can click on the Bigfoot link to the right to see Dave’s work.
You can click on this site to get more info: www.pleasehelpjen.com
I don’t know the complete history of the legislation involved but I think that back in ’96, a Texas congressman introduced a bill that would allow deportation above a judge’s ruling.
These are good folks doing some cool things and I don’t want them to leave.

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A Donkey Made That Special

One time there was this kid who needed money for puppy. And so he got a job with his neighbor’s farmer. The farmer pretty much just needed shit shoveled and put in a pile. Boy wow did that pile have some stink!
Meanwhile, a goat was learning to speak. It was still a dumb goat but on a goat level, it was pretty smart. That goat was working on sentences, passing the kindergarten that the farmer had set up in the chicken coop away from the other goats because dumb rubs off so easily.
A goat learning to talk is sort of like learning to ride a bike on two wheels. Almost, almost . . . and then you just baaaah(goat sound).
Meanwhile, the boy had almost finished for the day and was going to the area where the donkey and the two mules were kept...

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milk the deer part 2

and Milk looked down and saw blood dripping on the ground. forgetting his first word, he became confused, not knowing that he too had wandered, all the way to Colorado where nosebleeds are frequent.
the hunter’s child, too, had a nosebleed. and soon, the whole forest looked as if they’d all eaten red velvet cake batter through their noses. it was some sight.
the mayor of boulder decided for the state of colorado that the day be named Dia de Sangre and then Ted said, “why not name it Nosebleed Day, instead?”
Ted became mayor the next year and won the whipped cream eating contest on Nosebleed Day the following year.
what was even better to a few was Nosebleed’s Eve...

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Milk the deer

there was this deer and the deer’s name was Milk. his mom named him such because he had a splash of white on his back. Milk never outgrew his name or his splash. one day a hunter’s child saw Milk eating a sunflower. now what’s peculiar here is that the sunflower grew in the woods, away from sunlight. the hunter’s child had wandered as his father was watching a fishing show on his portable. when Milk saw the hunter’s child he jumped sideways and kept one eye on the child for deer are good at one-eye stares.
the hunter’s child said, “Hello, what’s your name? I think my dad calls you Good Sausage.”
Milk strained like an animatronic puppet, trying to get the words out, but everytime he tried to speak he only grunted a bit at most.
when commercials interupted the bass catch on the tv, th...

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Lebowskifest

I met The Dude. The dude that Jeff Bridges plays in the Big Lebowski. The real dude. He’s a good fellow. He displayed his stage banter with the mayor of Louisville, Jerry Abramson, as the dude would do. Put a politician next to The Dude and you’re getting your money’s worth ($20, unless you’re a child, and then you get in free to a rated R show and I said poo poo words during my set). The key to the city will go a long way. Believe you me. And the Dude got it. A key to the city of Louisville.
I have a key to the City of Denton. Well, its not a real key. When you try to open the city with it, mistakes fall out like an overstuffed closet full of ping-pong balls with “bad choice” written on each. Somewhere, there’s a room with a bunch of bad balls . Ha Ha. Balls.
It was hot...

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