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This was an article found on the floor in the residence of the late Mr. Issac Woodall of Kansas City, MO on January 17, 2005 . No clues as to what newspaper it was collected from but some document-hobbyists claim it never went to press. The article was written in German, thus this is my loose translation of said piece.

“Die Legende von Herrn Admiral Nacht die Seite Tänzer und der Platz Tätowieren”
January 10, 1866 by way of January 9, 1985 - A playful animal, the deer. Especially moon deer. Once in 1813, one of the deer, Sir Admiral Nightside Dancer, put on a wonderful display from the sweat of bipedal beavers. A temple, dedicated to Nightside, lit up so much that the Council of Fifteen decided it was going to alert Blue Planet (our earth) to their secret life. Not that earth would have the ability to travel to the moon at the time but 150 years was not enough time to scramble for cover.
The display included carousel-like deer prancing in slight light which is not unlike a combo of lasers and LEDs, only a bit dimmer due to CF guidelines. Lasers in almost a sepia tone would be correct.
Sir Admiral Nightside Dancer was very upset at the quenching of his extravaganza, so much that he almost put on a travel coat and went to earth to blend into the Hapsburgs but was stopped by CF just short of winged departure.
And now, when you look at the moon on January 15, you can see antlers and tears in what looks to be a fake constellation technique known as a Space Tattoo.

George Michael has a perch in his giant flat in London. It was only a rumour until now. When he pulls back his copy of “Can’t Reach October”, all the walls gain mysterious shadows that resemble the inside of a cage and a long plank of log slides out from a side wall about the height of where a second floor would be.
He stands on this perch and sounds you can’t hear anywhere else come alive. What a bird! What a beautiful bird he becomes! Charlotte Church once visited during his private time and fainted from wonderous clarity! He promptly smoked two cigars so that she would think it was only a dream.
Well, anyways, you will never hear this angelic audio for it is for no one but George.
One day, while wiping his forehead with a cloth due to a clean perspiration, George felt a new stubble on his cheek. He stroked it, thinking, in the same manner as a think-stroke, and noticed it wasn’t his own!
He had come by someone else’s stubble! Believe it or Not!