• The Astronaut Who Eats Cereal is an Asstrohole

    September 13, 2010 /

    My friend, Joey, built a rinky dink ice cream machine out of cardboard and pencils. When he poured the cream into the top hole, the sides would darken and the box would leak. He swore this was the best way, even though he would lose a lot of it in the process. You could always tell when he’d made a batch because the floor was sticky.
    Once, he made a batch with broken candy canes and almond paste. He didn’t mop the floor for a whole week because the room smelled that good.
    Lately, his cat has been clawing at the machine, so he has held off on making more.
    He says his next project is to build an ice cream machine that makes a regular ice cream encased in a ball of astronaut ice cream. He says that in the future, astronauts will enjoy tasting the sweet danger of a potential accident by breaking the candy sphere, as it could spread inside the ship and ruin the controls. Figuring out how to get back to earth in the lunar module with a sugar rush could be part of the culinary experience, he says.
    I don’t think Joey’s ever met an astronaut. I hope he gets his meeting because I’m looking forward to watching him talk out loud to the NASA guy and hoping that the NASA guy peppers his reply with the words “fuhhk” and “dammit”.

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  • When Jim Second-Guessed Himself

    September 8, 2010 /

    jim's-organ
    Jim was working on two projects. The first one was a pipe organ made of robotic mouths. It was based on a toy that he’d seen as a child which was a musical keyboard where each key made a tone and triggered the release of a puppet character ascribed to the sound. Jim’s organ ascribed a series of robotic mouths to respective keys and stops. Each mouth was able to pronounce vowels but not consonants. The mouths were visible to the audience, whose reaction possibly dipped into the uncanny valley, a place usually reserved for androids. Jim worked on a set of 3 songs for his organ’s debut: Bach’s Toccata and Fugue in D minor and the main themes of Star Wars and Star Trek: The Motion Picture. His debut was a success. People loved his organ and his performance. Word got out and he was asked to play his organ on a semi-popular television program. The excitement inspired him to buy a fitted suit. Looking very sharp, he went on the television show, performed the Bach piece and stood in front of the hosts who also happened to be judges. One of the judges was in a couple of popular bands sometime ago and therefore could not be judged on anything.
    “How long did it take you to build this?”
    “Six years.”
    “So, you wasted six years of your life?”
    Jim promptly put his second project on hold.

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  • Covering Katy Perry

    August 25, 2010 /

    My band, .357 Lover, was invited to play Our Hit Parade, a local show that covers the current top ten. We did “California Gurls”. The lyrics reminded me of David Lee Roth, so we did it in the style of Van Halen.

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  • Bye Bye Girls

    August 14, 2010 /

    From the upcoming album: .357 Lover’s The Purchase of the North Pole
    on a popular show with nice, funny fellows.

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  • Comedy Below Canal Tonight

    August 12, 2010 /

    Tonight, August 12, 9pm
    Comedy Below Canal
    92Y Tribeca
    200 Hudson St.
    New York, NY

    LIZZ WINSTEAD (co-creator & former head writer of Comedy Central’s “The Daily Show,” and co-creator of Air America Radio)
    HARI KONDABOLU (Live at Gotham, John Oliver’s Stand-up Show)
    GREG WALLOCH (The Moth storyteller, F**k The Disabled)
    JOE MANDE (Live at Gotham, Look at this F*cking Hipster)
    musical guest CORN MO (.357 Lover, The Polyphonic Spree)
    and more!

    Tickets & Info:
    http://www.92y.org/shop/detail.asp?productid=T-MM5CM74

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  • I’ve been doing puppet work

    July 26, 2010 /

    I’m not good at it, but it’s fun. I like watching people who are good at it. Last night, I worked with some muppet fans who put on a show at the Knitting Factory called the Muppet Vault. They showed some rare footage including one with some improv between Jim Henson and Frank Oz. I did some puppet work. Really fun. Then, we drank across the street where I heard more muppet news.

    check out their sites:
    http://muppetcast.com/WordPress/
    http://www.toughpigs.com/

    Here’s Jim Henson’s Time Piece:

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  • Revival of Straight Up Vampire

    July 2, 2010 /

    31
    July 2nd and 3rd

    STRAIGHT UP VAMPIRE:
    The History Of Vampires in Colonial Pennsylvania as Performed to the Music of Paula Abdul.

    2 SHOWS FOR INDEPENDENCE DAY WEEKEND!!

    July 2 and 3rd, Joe’s Pub, 9:30 pm
    Joe’s Pub,
    425 Lafayette st, NYC

    $15
    TICKETS AVAILABLE NOW
    http://www.joespub.com/component/option,com_shows/task,view/Itemid,40/id,4995

    It’s 1763 and there are vampires in Philadelphia.
    Paula Abdul Blackwood is a beautiful young quaker girl being forced into marriage with the wheelwright’s son.
    Jack Sheridan, a politically idealistic young vampire, is the man she loves.
    Everywhere there is dissent. Fractious parties debate the future of the colony.
    MC Skat Kat and Benjamin Franklin vie for power in the Assembly.
    _______

    A touching, informative, and spooky musical hayride through fake American history,
    set to the music of Paula Abdul.

    with performances by

    Magin Schantz
    Jason Quarles
    Tanya O’Debra
    Diane O’Debra
    Nick Jones
    Megan Stern
    Justin Noble
    Zak Vreeland
    Peter James Cook
    Drae Campbell
    Corey Sullivan
    Dr. Steam Whipple
    Band members

    and Corn Mo as Benjamin Franklin

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