Me and Louis and Bobbi went to the Museum of Television and Radio yesterday. We were researching for a Polyphonic tv show. So, I went to IMDB and looked up a bunch of tv shows that I’d remembered and some I didn’t and looked up important guest stars on those shows (Tiny Tim, Kiss, Paul Williams) to get the right episodes:
When Things were Rotten episode #1.3
The Cop and the Kid episode #1
Monster Squad (1976)episode #1
Tony Orlando and Dawn episode #3.1
The Paul Lynde Halloween Special (1976)
Love American Style episode #2.18c
Make Your Own Kind of Music 1971
Johnny Cash and Friends 1976
The Bay City Rollers Show 1978
Of these they had the Paul Lynde show and Johnny Cash and Friends.

I also had this list:
Brady Bunch Variety Hour
Harlem Globetrotters Cartoon
Laffalympics
Lidsville
HR Puffinstuff
John Denver Variety Hour
Glen Campbell Goodtime Hour
Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour
Shazaam
Isis
Ark II
Greatest American Hero
Cop Rock
Hardy Boys (episode #2.1 and 2.2 with guest star Paul
Williams)
Highway to Heaven
Donnie and Marie
Hee Haw
Sonny and Cher show
Bigfoot and Wildboy
The Kroft Supershow
The Nick and Jessica Variety Hour
No Hardy Boys. One Donnie and Marie.
I was real dissappointed. I guess I expected them to have everything.
The staff was excellent. One guy, who looked like Stephen Colbert, was looking up shows on his computer (because his was better than the Apple 2c I was using). And the guy sitting next to him knew what they had without looking.
“No, that’s Shazaam the cartoon. He’s looking for the live-action one. And no Isis and no Ark II.”
And then he said,
“I think you can get those on dvd.”
But that’s why I’m here at what I thought was the TV’s supercomputer.
He was good, though.
We watched Paul Lynde and Hee Haw and some Carpenters. It’s hard to watch tv in such a setting. There’s no couch and you can’t go get a beverage. Very library. But it was nice to see Paul Lynde and Tim Conway together do some funny.

I thought about this guy today that I’d met a while back who has since passed away. His name was Terry and he built this tape recorder that recorded at different speeds.

http://www.cnn.com/2004/TECH/science/12/23/gen.us.clonedcat.ap/index.html

I said that this lady was probably from Plano but I wish and hope that she’s from Denton. My friend pointed out that Denton doesn’t have that kind of money. I never had money in Denton but I know there were people who did because I
a)delivered pizza to them
b)almost built a brick house for 2 cats that would have access to the main house.
I shit you not.
I thought about this guy today that I’d met a while back who has since passed away. His name was Terry and he built this tape recorder that recorded at different speeds. He hooked up different parts of stereos together and demonstrated for some friends on camera how it worked by picking up a cat and picking at its underside until it meowed a discontented noise to stop. He would play this back at a slower speed immediately. His stereo was placed on the front lawn and there were cats everywhere. I think they belonged to a girlfriend of his who was a wiccan who liked cats.
I don’t think this lady would have a cat cloned but I hope that her and Terry’s relationship was an influential forebear in some way.
I’m kidding. I don’t.

Well, I have $45,000 in my purse. Oh, wait that’s chocolate. You want some silver bells, Caspar?

http://www.cnn.com/2004/TECH/science/12/23/gen.us.clonedcat.ap/index.html

This lady didn’t want her town named but everyone knows she lives in Plano. Everything that happens happens in Plano. It could have been Garland, the town that King of the Hill is based on, but there’s not enough new money in Garland. It could have been Las Colinas, the home of Office Space, but those young urban professionals are spending money on big time dinners at Macaroni Grill because it’s good dinner.
So, I’m putting my money on Plano. So if she is from Plano then I want my $100 reward that I will use to go eat at Kathy’s Wok in Plano. That’s some good Chinese.
Now here’s my play with the names changed.
DANA: I thought Skrips was dead.
JOE: He is dead. This is a clone of your dead cat.
DANA: Why would I want that? Skrips used to pee in the crib of my baby, Casper.
JOE: You don’t have a baby.
DANA: Yes I do. There he is. C’mer Casper.
JOE: Oh, a baby dog.
DANA: He’
s not a baby, are you Casps? You’re a young man.
JOE: He’s a shitzu.
DANA: Don’t use language like that around my baby. I’m sorry. Young man.
JOE: Anyway, you owe us $50,000 for cloning your cat.
DANA: I said, “Cologne-ing my cat”. He was stinking up the house with his decomposing.
JOE: Well,
DANA: You could have gotten Halston or Drakkar or even Blues Lady and sprayed it on Drips.
JOE: Drips?
DANA: I mean Skrips. Listen, here’s $5. My husband owns 5 Domino’s Pizzas. He can get you discounts.
JOE: I’m dialing my lawyer.
DANA: (looking over his shoulder) I was just seeing if you were dialing a 1-800 number to see if I really need to call mine.
JOE: No, it’s the company’s lawyer.
DANA: Okay, well let me call mine.
SKRIPS II: mew
DANA: You sound just like Skrips. Can you dance? You wanna dance.
(Skrips stands on 2 legs).
JOE: So, you understand how important this is? I could have cured cancer but your kitty paid more.
DANA: Well, I have $45,000 in my purse. Oh, wait that’s chocolate. You want some silver bells, Caspar?
JOE: You shouldn’t give him chocolate.
DANA: Uh huh.
JOE: My lawyer is on the phone. He needs to make sure that you have held the cat.
DANA: Of course I have.
JOE (on phone): Yes she has. Okay I will tell her.
DANA: Tell me what?
JOE: I got to get them silver bells chocolates and the rest of the money in your purse and a couple of ones to make change with the guy who is going to get some Axe Effect to spray on your old Skrips.
DANA: I need the phone. (On phone) Yes I’d like to order two Monsterganzas with everything. No, this is Dana. I need Joey to drive them here. Okay.
(to Joe) We got pizza coming.
SKRIPS II: mew.

I’m sad. I think this weather is getting me down. It’s been cold and rainy and I want to go home and sit. But there’s an office Christmas party tonight. And there’s an open bar, free food, and office comaradery. I can’t pass that up.
I will rule tonight. I will hold my free Cosmopolitan that I only drink when free and make awesome small talk. Then, I will find that one guy when I’ve had five and tell him how things should be. More than five and I’ll let him tell me.
And then tommorrow I’m gonna play a show at someone’s parlor. I don’t even know where it’s at or when I go on. That’s livin’. That’s adventure. When adventure is lost you go find it. When writer’s block stands in your way you just walk through it because it’s never really there.
Tonight my rainy day is gonna be sunshine. I know this because my brothers in officework will be with me.

I went to see Rufus Wainwright at Barnes N’ Nobles today. My friend, Jason, wears a knee brace so we took a cab from work. We got there in time to hear his last song due to traffic. It was a real good song. That guy is real good.
It was rainy so we walked-he wanted to walk- to Jonny’s Diner on 25th. It was good rainy day food. I got the Sloppy Jonny-chicken, bacon, cheese, coleslaw on a hero. That guy, Johnny, is a good guy, too.
I took Rufus Wainwright’s old manager to Jonny’s Diner once. He wanted to sign me onto his management. He enjoyed Jonny’s and appreciated that I was a cheap date. After our lunch meeting he concluded that I had lost momentum after MTV and Rolling Stone and The New York Press. That’s cool. At least I got a free Sloppy Jonny. And anyway, I’m a fuckin’ Cheerio that’s been to the bottom of the bowl many times. I’m just gonna come right back up again. And it’s gonna be delicious. Like Frosted Cheerios.
Hi.
The office Christmas party is tommorrow night. I’ve played at two of them. The last one I played at I was on fire and played one of the best sets of my life. I was banned from playing any more office parties. It makes coworkers sad that I don’t play these open bar workplaces. They should come see me after work.

I brought my lunch to work today. I didn’t make it cause I didn’t have time but I bought a sandwich real cheap from the bakery by my house. I spent almost $20 for a burger lunch yesterday. That’s bullshit. I shouldn’t be eating that anyway. I did have a salad but still. And they charged for an extra coke. This is at a pub. Irish pubs in NY serve old-timey poor people food at a rich people price. I guess if you have money then you don’t mind buying an $8 BLT or a $9 salad or $13 fish and chips or a $15 corned beef and cabbage. If you want that and you’re a bit low on cash go to McSorley’s. On a weekday. Because it’s too crowded on the weekend.
We had band practice last night and I had time to kill in the city and Sammy calls “Hey, come hang out here before we practice.”
“Where?”
“The Triple Crown.”
“Wow. I just ate lunch there.”
My boss calls it Horsies.

I hadn’t hung out with my friend Janet in a while so we went to the Alligator Lounge. This place is awesome because it isn’t crowded and you get a free pizza with your beer. I’m not talking frozen bar pizza either. I’m a talkin’ about brick oven pizza. I had free pizza. The bar is a pizza party every day. I had my own pizza party. For free.
There’s another place down the street that had karaoke. And the place shouldn’t be called Sweet Ups. It should be called Good Times All Around. Except for this fellow sitting next to me.
“Excuse me, I’m European. Are all Americans this stupid?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean are they this stupid?”
Do I look French to you? Why are you asking me this?
“You mean singing karaoke and having a good time? Yeah!”
And then I turned my back on him.
I think he wanted me to punch him. Who’s stupid enough to come up with this question? “You have good time at the karaoke, erego you stoopid. Correct?” (I’m paraphrasing.)
Really, I think he wanted a fight. And I don’t think he was really European. And I think he knew I was bigger than him. So, I let him be alone. I’m not into that. I wanted him to hear my Garth Brooks song. Who’s stupid now?

I recorded yesterday with Pete and Sammy. It turned out really well. We did a new version of Junior High and 3 other songs. I’m real proud of it.
I’ll probably go back in later and add some banjo and more vocals.
I rewrote the lyrics to one of the songs yesterday morning. It’s a good feeling when they turn out well. One of the songs I wanted to record I couldn’t because I can’t get the lyrics right. But this one just came out and worked out fine.
I had general tso chicken when I got home. I go to the place across the street. I think they started putting in MSG or they started putting more MSG in their food. I got a headache before I was done eating. I got bad fish from them last time I went. They’re nice but, well, I should be eating better anyway. I got some fresh beets and collard greens last week and boiled them. It was really good.
If you see me today, I’ll have the rough mix on me if you want to hear it.