Blog/Tour Diary

  • Columbus 2

    My friend, Matt, came to the show. I met him when I was out with the Spree. His job allows to pop up at shows all over the map. My rider requires “a townie to drink with” and I dubbed him the guy. I’d planned on sleeping in the car that I’d borrowed from my roommate’s girlfriend, Kim, but Matt needed a place and he knew people. 2 people more than I did. He got hold of this girl, Amber. She said a little more notice would be good. Matt had met her at a show she did with her band in Dayton that ended with a real shoot-out.

    We met up at Brothers. I thought it was a place to get pizza. It was a bar. A good bar but I was beered out. I had to drive, too. There are some days when I just don’t want to drink and that was one of them. After shows, sometimes I can’t really drink beer. I hit a wall. We met up with Amber and Marcha at this nice place and after a couple of cokes we went back to Amber’s.

    She’s a puppeteer. Her puppet, Mark, has cerebral palsy and has his own puppet wheelchair. I held Mark most of the night and made Amber talk while I moved his mouth. He ended up sleeping between Matt and me on the pull-out futon. Amber was a gracious host, making us let her make us pierogis and putting on a Syd Barrett dvd for me to fall asleep to.

    And yes they were very pretty.

  • Columbus

    I’ve been out of shape lateley. I’ve been spending time with my folks in KY. Since my mom is sick, the nice folks from church have been bringing food to the house so I’ve done my part be eating it. I didn’t want to bother my dad to use his gym pass so I got Lose Weight Exercise my mowing the lawn (a treat since my Brooklyn home has no lawn).

    So, when I got to Columbus after driving 8 hours from Brooklyn, I was excited and tired and nervous about playing a show so rusty.

    I think I’ve mentioned this beofre but opening for the Giants couldn’t be a better fit for me. It’s as if someone tailored a crowd to fit what I do.

    “Here you go. Now rock them.”

    The Promowest Pavillion is a mini-amphitheater in the style of Dallas’ Starplex with the size of Austin’s Stubbs. Most venues don’t look at my rider (what I want). With good reason I guess, because I’m just the opening act. But here, the guy asked if I really wanted wings. I had to say no because I didn’t really NEED wings.

    I love wings. I’ll tell you where in NY to get wings: Scruffy Murphy’s in Hell’s Kitchen.

    I went to Hooter’s with my friends Kelly and Todd Deatherage after watching Ben Kweller and Katie Holmes at Carson Daly Live. I was a little depressed and Kelly wanted to go to Hooter’s because they have Miller Lite on tap. And by the way, Katie Holmes is very beautiful. They make her homely on Dawson. But I definitely digress.

    Oh yeah, Hooter’s wings suck. I like girls in tight shorts just like the next guy but don’t be duped. Go order wings from a real bar and go to the park.

    Don’t get me started on wingz.

    I like going on stage and people yell for you and not at you. It’s nice. TMBG crowds are nice. Polyphonic Spree crowds are nice, too. It was a good show.

    My voice held up. My banter was a little off. My stamina gave a little. By the time the show was over, I felt like I ran 3 miles. No. 5 miles. It felt really good. The merch table was the best part because I was never without good company. I met some real good people. Very nice folks.

  • Minneapolis

    Minneapolis was excellent. We played at 1st Avenue, the club from Purple Rain. Common Rotation ruled their set. The Giants ruled their set.

    My accordion was back to “normal” so I had complete confidence and took that to the stage. It felt really good.

    I met some nice folks by the table, including Rick, who saw me about 4 years ago in New Orleans when I was in the Circus. He and friends came to our show at the Shim Sham Club for a bachelor party.

    There were good pinball games but I couldn’t get the change machine to take my money. I used to play Funland all the time. They didn’t have it, I just remember it.

    I’m kinda sick right now.

    Jory got some new shoes. They look real good. Co Ro’s friend from a movie set invited us to a party. She’s real nice. It was a kind of wrap party for a movie about Charles Bukowski. Matt Dillon is Bukowski.

    A girl had sex sitting right next to me. I guess they do those things in garages. She interrupted my conversation with her guy guy. Adam was trying to tell me what was going on with his eyes. I’m not good at it. Right next me! How do you do that? I didn’t even see it! I was watching the karaoke people singing “La Bamba”.

    Now I know what Adam’s conversation about girlfriends on the road was about.

    I hope my cough goes away.

  • Too much technical notes on Madison because my axe broke

    I broke my accordion in Madison.

    I’ve never been to Wisconsin. I love cheese and there’s a place to get some at every major highway stop. Me and Rotation split some cheese curds, which are hard to find.

    I got picked up at the airport by my old roommate’s sister, Jess. She showed me the Oscar Mayer factory and as we passed by, it smelled like sweet cooked meat. I shit you not. It didn’t smell like I thought it would.

    I met Common Rotation for the first time at this show. It was like a first day of school with them for I would be sharing the car with them for the whole trip and didn’t know what to expect. They’re all nice fellows.

    My accordion broke during sound check. I had just had it serviced the day before. I took it downstairs and opened it up and the reeds on the bass side had fallen out. My guy didn’t put the pins back in and he’d given me a lecture on how I need to have a real service done to my axe if I’m gonna be a professional. So, he half-ass fixed it. And that part wasn’t broken.

    You learn how to fix accordions as they break. Linnel and Finch told me that and I’ve been learning a lot lately.

    I put the reeds back in and waited til showtime. I was gonna eat but I remembered that I’ve thrown up during shows with meals. So, I left it out.

    During the first song, I noticed something wrong. And I noticed that it was still messed up. Awesome.

    My chord buttons weren’t working right. So, I played only songs that used root notes in the bass. It definitely affected my performance. My confidence level was down and so was my poker face. I did best I could at being the greatest entertainer possible and from the crowd’s response it was working but I was definitely off by playing a broken accordion.

  • letter from Madison

    Dear Mr. Mo:

    >

    > I saw you perform before the They Might Be Giants

    > show in Madison,

    > Wisconsin. I don’t expect you to remember, but I

    > shook your hand and said

    > that I’d never heard an accordion rock so hard

    > before. I’ve just finished

    > listening to your album I Hope You Win!, and I would

    > like to make a request.

    >

    > Could you please rescue us from the current state of

    > popular music? I

    > understand that I’m charging you with a big quest,

    > but myself and others

    > like me are looking for heroes. Many have tried —

    > oh, how they have tried.

    > They Might Be Giants have been releasing

    > consistently good music for

    > years, and they’re still under the radar. Older

    > acts like Blue Oyster Cult

    > have tried to rescue us by releasing good new music,

    > but I don’t think

    > anybody’s listening. “Weird Al” Yankovic used to

    > sort of have the accordion

    > thing going on, but now he’s almost a tool of the

    > mainstream media. The

    > family of the late Frank Zappa keeps unearthing

    > unreleased recordings, but

    > they only appeal to Zappa fans.

    >

    > I think the problem comes from the fact that

    > everybody’s heard of these

    > bands, and they’re not willing to investigate even

    > the possibility of

    > something new and innovative from them. Meanwhile,

    > the music industry keeps

    > shoving Britney down our throats, and we keep buying

    > her. Unfortunately, I

    > cannot offer you the resources, industry

    > connections, or knowledge to fix

    > it, but the music industry really needs a jump

    > start. As far as I can tell,

    > Corn Mo is the kind of jump start I’m talking about.

    >

    > Think about it, okay? The people need you.

    >

    > Colin

  • Singing with Bowie!

    Bowie asked us to do a song with him!

    I walked by the stage to the dressing room in Winnipeg and saw he and Tim in serious conversation. It was fuckin magic.

    This is rock n roll. This is where the branches on the rock tree grow.

  • Trying to Write

    I couldn’t sleep last night. I got up and tried to write new songs. I gotta write one for Una’s motorcycle act. So I got out some midway carnival hits (Kid Rock) and let it try to inspire me.

    Jesse was playing X Box. John and Logan were playing guitars.

    We stopped earlier somewhere between Winnipeg and Edmonton to watch the Aurora Borealis. They weren’t as amazing as some pictures I’d seen but they were amazing nonetheless.

    I got a little bit done on my writing. I ended up writing a story instead.

    We got to Edmonton just short of 6 am.

    Me and John and Jesse went to the hotel with Roger, the driver, to use the hotel bathroom. I gotta wash clothes real soon. I’ve been wearing the same jeans for 2 weeks.

    I’m perpetually tired but it’s awesome. I’m finally in the groove of this.

    Someone stuffed up the toilet again. The toilet on the bus is the center of attention. I never shit on that bus. Never. Ask the poo that was felled from the tanks.

    “Sorry, don’t recognize him.”

  • dammit

    I’m starting to get the hang of this. I’ve been having ADD on the bus mostly. I had big plans to write stuff and be productive on this bus especially with travel days. All I’ve been doing is playing X Box, watching movies, trying to read, trying to write, and playing more X Box.

    I sent a check to my bank and it hasn’t gotten there yet. 2 weeks. Thanks, USPS. I need that money. Thank you those who allow yourselves to be the pompous idiots that feel the customer works for you. Thanks for being assholes. Thanks for letting me go to Fed Ex from now on. I fuckin’ need that money.

  • a general overview of canadians

    I like these Canadians. Some remind me of John Candy-overweight and overfriendly. Some are real hot like the girl from 24. And some are real passive-aggressive. I have a lot of travelling to do before I can generalize even more. Some remind me of a friendly joe. No quaking just doing stuff.

    I dig these Canadians.

  • Quebec City

    After the show in Quebec City me and Louis and Rick and Ricky met up with some folks from Montreal. I was feeling under the weather but knew I’d be on the bus to Winnipeg for a long time. It was fucking cold and snowy. We rode into town with a med student named Liz and met up with Roberto, Andre, Julia, and 2 other really nice ladies. Julia was what the Ticket would call a “little miracle”. Roberto was in The Stars and worked with Broken Social Scene. It’s nice to talk to new people over beer. Fuckin’ real nice guy. Andre was real nice, too. They were all real nice. I was hurtin from a cold I still can’t get over but I had a good time. I learned some French Canadian cusswords and learned to not trust every restaurant just because it’s French.

    Louis is real good at finding people to hang out with.

    Man, I’m really tired and I think it’s from laying around a bus all day.

  • poutine

    Me and Bryan Wakeland got some poutine at Harv’s and it was real good.

  • On the Way to Winnipeg

    I watched SWAT and Lost in Translation on the bus. We spent 2 days driving to Winnipeg. Some folks watched the Lord of the Rings Trilogy in the front of the bus. The way we got number 3 has been put on the down low.

    Someone shit in the toilet and it stopped up the comode and no one fessed up. My name was tossed around but I went 3 weeks as a kid without taking a shit when my folks took me to Holland. I can hold out for a day and I can handle a Canadian truck stop.

    SWAT sucked but I still enjoyed it. Lost in Translation was better than I thought it would be. I like Bill Murray. He’s America’s bad ass. I wish Steve Martin would do more cool shit. Same with Gene Wilder.

    We stopped along the lake to look see and I pissed in the woods and threw a rock on the frozen lake. Rick stood on the ice for a picture and didn’t have to reenact the Omen.

    Roger, the bus driver, drained the shitter and found poop on his pick stick. I swear I didn’t shit on the bus. We should have a scientist with us.

  • Bus Assignments

    BUS ASSIGNMENTS:

    RICH BANAS SPORTSTAR PREVOST LINE-UP

    Joe Butcher

    Tim DeLaughter

    Stella DeLaughter

    Oscar DeLaughter

    Julius DeLaughter

    Julie Doyle

    Bubba Doyle

    Audrey Easley

    Toby Halbrooks

    Evan Hisey

    Jennie Kelley

    Seth Loeser

    James Reimer

    Louis Schwadron

    Michael Turner

    Jamey Welch

    Dave Willingham

    ROGER STONE EAGLE LINE-UP

    Andy Bracht

    Jon Cunningham (Corn Mo)

    Ryan Fitzgerald

    Daniel Hart

    Jessie Hester

    Jennifer Jobe

    Logan Keese

    John LaMonica

    Michael Musick

    Rick Nelson

    Chris Penn

    Mark Pirro

    Ricky Rasura

    Kelly Repka

    Jennefa Soldatic

    Bryan Wakeland

    Curt Wells

  • Road Rules

    RULES OF THE ROAD:

    “I saw the show when we were out in LA filming Scrubs and got a feel for the environment surrounding him and his camp. I want EVERYONE to remember it is HIS show. We get soundchecks based upon when he is done. Some days we may not get any. Once we get in the groove we may just do line checks since we only get an hour to an hour and a half tops for the most part. Also remember they have been on the road for 13 or 18 month and they are in the ZONE. We don’t want to come in and disrupt their bubble they have created. Use your common sense. There will be NO watching his show from the side of the stage. We will watch from out in the crowd. There is too many of us. Do not take what is not yours. We get stuff in our dressing room. If it is not there DO NOT think of taking or swiping it. They have aftershow parties that are NOT for us. They are for David Bowie and his guests. On the subject of catering. We only get dinners. NO LUNCH OR BREAKFASTS. Again there is too many of us. Please don’t harass David Bowie if you see him walking in the hall. BE AS NORMAL AS YOU CAN. I will try to set up a meet and greet where he visits with us and gets his picture with us. PLEASE DON’T LURK or be a nuisance. We want to be professional so we can get opportunities like this again. If you think something is wrong or questionable don’t do it. Don’t sneak friends backstage or in the gig. It looks bad upon all of us if you get caught.

    This will be a fun and memorable tour. I can hardly believe it if here upon us.

    On the subjects of robes, if your robe is left in the dressing room and I have it you can purchase it back from me for $30 in order to do the next show. The robes being left and kept unkempt is getting WAY out of hand.

    Also please bring your PASSPORT for Jay Leno and Canadian Immigration. It is the best thing for both.

    Don’t mean to be on a soapbox but I need you guys on your BEST BEHAVIOR”

  • Fuse Lady is pretty

    We did Fuse the other day. That host is hot. Like a 10 hot. I played accordion with them that day. It was fun. It was pretty quick overall. I saw Dan from Knarrefest (a backyard bbq I played in Teaneck, NJ with Jim Shearer who came to the show later that night). I also saw two friends from the band, Mackin. I hadn’t seen either one of them in a long, long time.

  • Spree Show in NY

    We played at the Angel Orensanz Center in the Lower East Side. That place is beautiful. It looks like an old abandoned church. We ruled that night. Jim came and sang on the encore with us. Lots of fedoras work there.

    After we went to Parkside Lounge where I went to hang out with Ty, Magic Brian and Kittenpants. It was my “birthday” again. Pete, the bartender, gave me free shots all night. The Spree showed up later. I gushed all over Tim and Julie with my gratitudes. I toasted to everyone that was in shot distance. It was a beautiful night. I am very fortunate.

  • Wasting on Halo

    We got 2 buses. More space and an Xbox. Me and Lamonica and Ryan and Mark and Logan play Halo a lot. Logan’s no fun because he’s so good. Me and Ryan fought together today instead of against each other. I’m good at wasting time and I’m trying to be bad at it.

  • Nashville

    I played Nashville last night at a bar called Springwater. There was a Santa Claus at the bar with me named Vern. He’s a nice fellow. We visited.

    Then, I played pool with Flash, this 50-year old guy who’s Christian name was Douglas. He looked like Michael Jeter. He made me go to pool school cause my bridge was unconfident. I knocked a few in and he knocked ’em all in. I bought him a Bud and he got cut off not soon after. He taught me how to play pool drunk by using the lights.

    The sound went in and out during the set so I unplugged and finished out the show in style. I’m working on my Liberace flourish.

    I shouldn’ta ate spaghetti before the show. It made me sleepy.

  • Goin’ to the store in Toronto

    I walked up and down Bloor street and got a lot of stares. I think I look funny or something.

    Rocket Johnny picked me up and I hung oot with him and Paul and Tom Comet and Beks. We went to check oot Hollynorth, the film prop store. Rocket was in the Bindlestiff’s with me and left to do his own thing: www.daredeviloperacompany.com. Paul does his music. Tom Comet has a record juggling chainsaws. Beks swallows fire and other things.

    I learned some cool shit:

    You can by fake blood by the gallon.

    You can adjust fake, falling snow by the thickness and the speed.

    You can get a fogger that fits in the palm of your hand.

    You can buy non-toxic slime for $80 dollars.

    I got a pen for free.

    Tom Comet built a board that has a nkob that when you move it side to side, 25 different explosions occur at the speed of your hand. It’s good for machine gun pretending.

  • Denton

    Playing Denton was magic. That’s my town I lived in the longest in my life. That’s the town I tried to leave but couldn’t. That’s the town I started Corn Mo in.

    It was perfect to play with Paul Slavens and Hand of Onan. Paul Slavens is the new Victor Borge. NO lie. He and Jeffrey Barnes of Brave Combo played together and he ruled that stage.

    Hand of Onan is Wally from Cornhole and Hotlink Records and Ted from Brutal Juice and The Banes and a really good drummer.

    All my rowdy friends came out and some got shitfaced and some soberly gave testament to tears that were shed during my show. Man, I missed Denton at that bar. It was a golden night. After, I hung out with the Angel of 2001 and Amber of 2003 and Cody and Melissa and Jason Asphalt. I drank a lot of cheap wine and listed to Tripping Daisy and watched Amber of 2003 push Jason into a table and break the shit out of it-for telling her joke. She’s hot and strong.

    Fuckin’ Bubba slept. Long live the 2bc.

    The next day, my ride for the tour, Luke, goes: “Denton’s cool.”