In a ditch next to my home I found an old body being eaten away by vultures. Vultures are cool to look at. I can easily watch one have dinner on a dead raccoon. But not a human. While shooing the vultures away with my rake I noticed that the body was still alive. Carelessly, I threw the body over my shoulder like a sack of dog food as the threat of the vultures seemed greater than the threat of a back injury. My bad.
Inside, I put the body on the couch and called 911 and then retrieved a glass of water. Cradling the body’s head, I served the water to the mouth. The body coughed and color began to come back on the face. Through the blood and hair and grass, I saw a woman. She was pretty.
She said, “Thanks for the water.”
Then, she handed me a subpoena and said,
“You’ve been served.”
She left and I finally opened an old Christmas present that was a vhs set of the series, Are You Being Served? I ordered pizza and a 2-liter of coke. Good times.
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