Daily Archives November 1, 2005

My Showdowns Diamond Paper

There was this guy named Diamond who wore a pair of pants that had spurs pointing inward at the side belt loops.  When it was time to hustle he’d pat his hips and run from the pain.


When he raced the legend, Carl Johnson, for pinks (in running that’s shoes) he prodded himself and beat the olympic runner in street racing, on a course that included a fake market made of balsa wood and sugar.  When the runner bumps into a market stand, the sugar fruit creates a kind of oil slick for the opponent and the cardboard vendors’ "upset trigger" is released, making their cardboard arms fly up and down in a shaking motion via pendulum action.

A passerby gave Diamond a new name, Leggs Diamond, and was promptly sued...

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10/5, Looking for a piano

Jory and I went down to the West End to look for a piano rental.  I found a fellow with a guitar at an internet shop and asked him and he pointed me to Denmark St.  What a time we had looking for that mysterious street.  What a quest! Everyone who gave us directions must have had their mental maps on a gyroscope. 

L = directions, I = communication, i = map made of marbles

And one lady wouldn’t respond when I asked her.  And I mean she wouldn’t acknowledge me.  Perhaps, I had ended my sentence in a preposition and she wouldn’t answer until the sentence was ended properly.  Or its the other thing.

We finally found Denmark St. and no one rents pianos on that strip of music stores.  But I did take  someone’s advice and found a place.

After that, Jory and I went to meet my friend, Will, at the...
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Trey’s Bum Leg

Trey loved the wet field. He walked with his pant legs rolled up. The bugs would jump from drinking dew, parting the way for Trey. One time, Trey’s leg slipped into a hole, making him thrust forward, losing control of his balance, breaking his leg. He knew it was broken because he heard the snap.
What he didn’t know was that his brother Billy was behind him the whole time.
“Huh? Oh, thank goodness, Billy. I don’t know why you’re here but I’m so glad for this moment. Please go run for help. I can’t walk.”
“Sure, thing, Trey. Hey, can you write this paper about The Pony Express for me since you’re all invalid for the moment?”
“Anything, brother. Now run. Run like tomorrow is too late from yesterday!”
“Wha? Okay.”
And Trey sat and thought about some things he needed to chang...

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New Videos and Other Newness

Some of you have realized that there are new videos on the Videos Page. If you haven’t checked it out, please do so. The new “CornMo Rant” is there now. The videos are using a service called YouTube. It’s like Flickr for videos.

There are major updates planned for this site in the coming months. Is something missing? You need to let me know. Do you want more CornMo for your CornDollar? Let your voice be heard! Email me at (webmo at cornmo dot com).

Does anyone out there do clever Flash Animation? Do you want to contribute content to Cornmo.com? Have you ever seen RatherGood? That site is H-I-Larious. I am looking for someone (or someones… somes one?) to create flash cartoons to go with CornMo’s songs...

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Damn My Half Ass Procedures For an Invention I Cannot Disclose Yet

A fool am I! I put down a 2 instead of a 4 and now I can’t finish what I started! In the vein of a sloppy Tesla, I was in the middle of showing off something brown and something fun. It’s not a diamond maker but its close! Oh fie on me!
You know how many filibusters I went through to get this one order in? It would be a filibuster to go through the first day’s list! Oh poop my eyes!
I was going to have the most wonderful unveiling meeting in conference room 10 at the Hyatt on the Riverwalk.
Stupendous mismash!
When I finally get the gumption to restart yesterday’s restarting point I will remember my mistakes and show you the most magnificent work since I don’t know what -Synthetic Tiger’s Milk? Dammit!

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Friends Having Shows This Week

Go see them
Silvia Machete
Thursday, Nov 3, 7:30 pm
Ars Nova
511 W 54th St. b/n 10th and 11th Ave
circus and music!

Chris Rozzi
Friday, Nov 4, 8 pm
Parkside Lounge
317 Houston at Attorney
featuring William Shakespeare

Ambitious Orchestra
Friday, Nov 4, 10 pm
Galapagos Art Space
70 North 6th St. at Kent

Friday, Nov 4, 9pm
At Trash Bar – 256 Grand Street, Brooklyn
$8 cover

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