A Note I Found in a Cave Canopied by an Old Tree

Here comes dawn and I’m not ready. I just made some real blood oranges. Not the Italian kind. More like the kind of oranges you find in prison, the kind given to inmates from people on the outside. Liquored oranges. Those oranges, injected with a syringe filled with vodka, are the brothers of my oranges, the ones I injected with blood and allowed to pickle in the blood barrel. I made of batch for me and my friends and now dawn is here and I have to get underground before the sun does me no good. If you’re human and you find this note, please leave the barrel alone because we want to watch The Poseiden Adventure tomorrow night instead if feeding on the likes of you. In fact, if you could give our Renfield guy a winebox full of blood that would be great.
In time, we will be cool to you. Thanks for being cool.
love,
Tony Vampire