Trying to Write

I couldn’t sleep last night. I got up and tried to write new songs. I gotta write one for Una’s motorcycle act. So I got out some midway carnival hits (Kid Rock) and let it try to inspire me.

Jesse was playing X Box. John and Logan were playing guitars.

We stopped earlier somewhere between Winnipeg and Edmonton to watch the Aurora Borealis. They weren’t as amazing as some pictures I’d seen but they were amazing nonetheless.

I got a little bit done on my writing. I ended up writing a story instead.

We got to Edmonton just short of 6 am.

Me and John and Jesse went to the hotel with Roger, the driver, to use the hotel bathroom. I gotta wash clothes real soon. I’ve been wearing the same jeans for 2 weeks.

I’m perpetually tired but it’s awesome. I’m finally in the groove of this.

Someo...

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dammit

I’m starting to get the hang of this. I’ve been having ADD on the bus mostly. I had big plans to write stuff and be productive on this bus especially with travel days. All I’ve been doing is playing X Box, watching movies, trying to read, trying to write, and playing more X Box.

I sent a check to my bank and it hasn’t gotten there yet. 2 weeks. Thanks, USPS. I need that money. Thank you those who allow yourselves to be the pompous idiots that feel the customer works for you. Thanks for being assholes. Thanks for letting me go to Fed Ex from now on. I fuckin’ need that money.

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a general overview of canadians

I like these Canadians. Some remind me of John Candy-overweight and overfriendly. Some are real hot like the girl from 24. And some are real passive-aggressive. I have a lot of travelling to do before I can generalize even more. Some remind me of a friendly joe. No quaking just doing stuff.

I dig these Canadians.

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Quebec City

After the show in Quebec City me and Louis and Rick and Ricky met up with some folks from Montreal. I was feeling under the weather but knew I’d be on the bus to Winnipeg for a long time. It was fucking cold and snowy. We rode into town with a med student named Liz and met up with Roberto, Andre, Julia, and 2 other really nice ladies. Julia was what the Ticket would call a “little miracle”. Roberto was in The Stars and worked with Broken Social Scene. It’s nice to talk to new people over beer. Fuckin’ real nice guy. Andre was real nice, too. They were all real nice. I was hurtin from a cold I still can’t get over but I had a good time. I learned some French Canadian cusswords and learned to not trust every restaurant just because it’s French.

Louis is real good at finding people ...

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poutine

Me and Bryan Wakeland got some poutine at Harv’s and it was real good.

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On the Way to Winnipeg

I watched SWAT and Lost in Translation on the bus. We spent 2 days driving to Winnipeg. Some folks watched the Lord of the Rings Trilogy in the front of the bus. The way we got number 3 has been put on the down low.

Someone shit in the toilet and it stopped up the comode and no one fessed up. My name was tossed around but I went 3 weeks as a kid without taking a shit when my folks took me to Holland. I can hold out for a day and I can handle a Canadian truck stop.

SWAT sucked but I still enjoyed it. Lost in Translation was better than I thought it would be. I like Bill Murray. He’s America’s bad ass. I wish Steve Martin would do more cool shit. Same with Gene Wilder.

We stopped along the lake to look see and I pissed in the woods and threw a rock on the frozen lake...

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Bus Assignments

BUS ASSIGNMENTS:

RICH BANAS SPORTSTAR PREVOST LINE-UP

Joe Butcher

Tim DeLaughter

Stella DeLaughter

Oscar DeLaughter

Julius DeLaughter

Julie Doyle

Bubba Doyle

Audrey Easley

Toby Halbrooks

Evan Hisey

Jennie Kelley

Seth Loeser

James Reimer

Louis Schwadron

Michael Turner

Jamey Welch

Dave Willingham

ROGER STONE EAGLE LINE-UP

Andy Bracht

Jon Cunningham (Corn Mo)

Ryan Fitzgerald

Daniel Hart

Jessie Hester

Jennifer Jobe

Logan Keese

John LaMonica

Michael Musick

Rick Nelson

Chris Penn

Mark Pirro

Ricky Rasura

Kelly Repka

Jennefa Soldatic

Bryan Wakeland

Curt Wells

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Road Rules

RULES OF THE ROAD:

“I saw the show when we were out in LA filming Scrubs and got a feel for the environment surrounding him and his camp. I want EVERYONE to remember it is HIS show. We get soundchecks based upon when he is done. Some days we may not get any. Once we get in the groove we may just do line checks since we only get an hour to an hour and a half tops for the most part. Also remember they have been on the road for 13 or 18 month and they are in the ZONE. We don’t want to come in and disrupt their bubble they have created. Use your common sense. There will be NO watching his show from the side of the stage. We will watch from out in the crowd. There is too many of us. Do not take what is not yours. We get stuff in our dressing room...

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Spree Show in NY

We played at the Angel Orensanz Center in the Lower East Side. That place is beautiful. It looks like an old abandoned church. We ruled that night. Jim came and sang on the encore with us. Lots of fedoras work there.

After we went to Parkside Lounge where I went to hang out with Ty, Magic Brian and Kittenpants. It was my “birthday” again. Pete, the bartender, gave me free shots all night. The Spree showed up later. I gushed all over Tim and Julie with my gratitudes. I toasted to everyone that was in shot distance. It was a beautiful night. I am very fortunate.

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Fuse Lady is pretty

We did Fuse the other day. That host is hot. Like a 10 hot. I played accordion with them that day. It was fun. It was pretty quick overall. I saw Dan from Knarrefest (a backyard bbq I played in Teaneck, NJ with Jim Shearer who came to the show later that night). I also saw two friends from the band, Mackin. I hadn’t seen either one of them in a long, long time.

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Wasting on Halo

We got 2 buses. More space and an Xbox. Me and Lamonica and Ryan and Mark and Logan play Halo a lot. Logan’s no fun because he’s so good. Me and Ryan fought together today instead of against each other. I’m good at wasting time and I’m trying to be bad at it.

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Nashville

I played Nashville last night at a bar called Springwater. There was a Santa Claus at the bar with me named Vern. He’s a nice fellow. We visited.

Then, I played pool with Flash, this 50-year old guy who’s Christian name was Douglas. He looked like Michael Jeter. He made me go to pool school cause my bridge was unconfident. I knocked a few in and he knocked ‘em all in. I bought him a Bud and he got cut off not soon after. He taught me how to play pool drunk by using the lights.

The sound went in and out during the set so I unplugged and finished out the show in style. I’m working on my Liberace flourish.

I shouldn’ta ate spaghetti before the show. It made me sleepy.

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Goin’ to the store in Toronto

I walked up and down Bloor street and got a lot of stares. I think I look funny or something.

Rocket Johnny picked me up and I hung oot with him and Paul and Tom Comet and Beks. We went to check oot Hollynorth, the film prop store. Rocket was in the Bindlestiff’s with me and left to do his own thing: www.daredeviloperacompany.com. Paul does his music. Tom Comet has a record juggling chainsaws. Beks swallows fire and other things.

I learned some cool shit:

You can by fake blood by the gallon.

You can adjust fake, falling snow by the thickness and the speed.

You can get a fogger that fits in the palm of your hand.

You can buy non-toxic slime for $80 dollars.

I got a pen for free.

Tom Comet built a board that has a nkob that when you move it side to side, 25 different explosions occur ...

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Denton

Playing Denton was magic. That’s my town I lived in the longest in my life. That’s the town I tried to leave but couldn’t. That’s the town I started Corn Mo in.

It was perfect to play with Paul Slavens and Hand of Onan. Paul Slavens is the new Victor Borge. NO lie. He and Jeffrey Barnes of Brave Combo played together and he ruled that stage.

Hand of Onan is Wally from Cornhole and Hotlink Records and Ted from Brutal Juice and The Banes and a really good drummer.

All my rowdy friends came out and some got shitfaced and some soberly gave testament to tears that were shed during my show. Man, I missed Denton at that bar. It was a golden night. After, I hung out with the Angel of 2001 and Amber of 2003 and Cody and Melissa and Jason Asphalt...

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Austin City Limits

I got so fucking stressed getting to the Austin City Limits show. We couldn’t find the parking lot and had 30 minutes to get to the stage. I jumped out of the van and walked. A guy in a cart saw me and goes,

“I should give you a ride . . . but I won’t.”

Then, I remembered the festival told me I was supposed to get a cart ride.

“Hey, man, can you give me a ride to the stage? I go on in twenty minutes.”

“We can’t do that. We got a lot of work to do. Your stage is only 100 feet away.”

It was real close. I saw a few people waiting by the stage which was the crowd I was expecting. After I started playing it got bigger. Some guys had signs that requested songs, Corby and Dave Lane from The Ticket showed up, a girl from high school came, and a bunch of other folks showed up.

It’s hard ...

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Dallas

Dallas was bad ass. Whenever I play Dallas now I get teary-eyed. Your friends who rooted for you in Dallas show up real proud. I curse a lot during the show because I’m a little nervous and I’m not good at not cursing, yet. Some dads gave their kids earmuffs when I started, “You guys are gonna make me fuckin’ cry.” And then my dirty-word, dirty-word spewed even more. After shows like that I feel like I’ve run 5 miles. It feels real good. And seeing the Spree in Dallas was the same feeling. Everyone is proud of them, too. After seeing Tripping Daisy all those years and then seeing this new creation that’s blowing up made all of them proud.

Oh, I got this email from my friend, Halee that sums this entry up:

Jon…don’t know how often you actually get to check e-mail but I had to writ...

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Asheville, NC

I’m in Asheville right now. Since Denton the Polyphonic tour has been on hold until the 30th in Toronto. There was a death in the family. God bless them.

We pulled in last night at a Walmart and used their facilities and slept in the van in their parking lot. We were in Chattanooga where I played an instore at Chad’s.

There were five people in that store and I rocked as best I could. This is the kind of tour I love-the kind that turns into adventure. We had spent the first day after the Denton show in New Orleans where we were going to work on getting last minute shows but ended up drinking at Lafitte’s. Which was fine because surrender is good sometimes. Then we did a lot of “touristy” stuff- like drinking more and going into the places that tourists go in and out of.

The second d...

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Denton

I’m in Denton. I ate a breakfast taco this morning and it was good. We left from Nashville yesterday. A butterfly flew in the van from the highway and hit Luke in the chest. I was playing Playstation and stopped playing to get that shit on video. It lived to the gas station and he set it in some weeds. I don’t know if insects regenerate fluid. I saw a rooster at the gas station walking around.

We pulled into Denton about 1:30 last night and went to the bar and got a tall one and caught up with folks. Me and Chris Flemmons hung out late at his house and then he went to Whataburger and I fell asleep.

There’s pretty girls on campus.

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Starting Tour

I’m in Nashville getting ready to leave for tour. Luke and Kathy just pulled up in their van and have started napping. They just bought this van that has a tv/vcr/playstation 2 and a bed. Janet’s getting her shit together right now. I’m excited about van party. This is going to be a fucking cool adventure.

Speaking of cool, I visited my brother on his birthday yesterday and went to the mall with my family for lunch. I rode the carousel with my niece, Maddie, who is 3. She cried earlier because I wasn’t watching the Tigger Movie with her even though I was in the room checking email. She rode my shoulders in the mall and my neck felt wet and played hide and seek in the Electronic Boutique where I was looking for a playstation present for Luke.

Now I’m ready to rock the stage and make ...

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Glastonbury Truck Break

We’re getting towed.

The clutch went out . Nina’s cafe phone won’t allow the incoming calls we need to keep in touch with AA (the European AAA). We hung out in Nina’s, drinking coffee and then buying some breakfast.

Nina: “This is the hottest it’s been since ’81. We’re definitely having a heat wave.”

Clarke: “Yeah, a heat wave where you have to wear a sweater at night.”

Good show, old chap.

I hung out with some kids on the lot yesterday. Real sweet kids: Caylin, 7 and Amber, 4, I think. Very smart and very nice kids.

Amber to me: “You’re very, very, very, very cheeky.”

Caylin to me: “You don’t know English very well, do you?”

“Amber, do you want this peach or not?”

“I don’t want it.”

“Shall I eat it?”

“Yes.”

Just like those over-polite chipmunks.

Caylin ran off and came back with ...

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