Wednesday, November 5, 2008
NYC
7:00pm - 9:00pm
Don Hill’s
511 Greenwich St.
I don’t know Vanessa but not having health insurance sucks.
from the facebook page:
If you’ve been to Milady’s, Soho’s premiere dive bar, chances are you’ve met Vanessa. Vanessa has tirelessly served us liquor, burgers, beer, tater tots and smiles for years. Our Vanessa has been diagnosed with Stage Four Lymphoma. Vanessa is twenty-eight years old and has no medical insurance. On Wednesday, November 5th at 7:00, get yourself down to Don Hill’s, which is located at 511 Greenwich St near Spring St. Twenty-five dollars at the door includes a raffle ticket, and, generously donated by Don Hill’s, the entire ticket price goes to Vanessa.
Lymphoma is sad, but the line up for “Vanessa Vanessa Vanessa!!!” is not. We’ve got Corn Mo, Leo Allen, The O’Debra Twins, Ruby Valentine, Hula Hoop Harlot Melissa Anne, and The Choke with a special, secret surprise guest! Hosted by Lavinia Draper!
I had a good time in LA. I visited the La Brea Tar Pits this time. There’s a wall of wolf skulls. Or jawbones. I can’t remember except that it was immense. Nonetheless, they have a wealth of fossils there.
Superlative to the museums I visited is still the Museum of Jurassic Technology. Oh, how I love to see the vision of one person come to fruition! There I caught a movie trailer that the founder was showing in order to acquire the funds to make a complete movie. It was a waterfall with some piano in the background but at one point just the waterfall. I love quiet nature videos. I tried to make one in Ireland but my hand shook too much as I was driving. I hope Mr. Wilson gets his funding.
I did a show with Hard N Phirm. One of the guys in that group is Chris Hardwick, who hosted Singled Out and was physically bothered in House of 1000 Corpses. They did a Tron rock opera not then but at another time. The other fellow, Mark, has no sense of smell. Really nice fellows.
Hard N Phirm
The other guy in the show was Mike O’Connell, who was very funny. If Rip Taylor were a Kentucky colonel and enjoyed the company of a lady and a glass of white then you’d be hanging out with Mike.
Mike
I went over my time again. This is twice in the comedy. The first time was awful. This time not so bad. Usually, the sound guy tells you “One more” meaning “you have time for one more song.” I usually tell the sound guy to tell me “10 minutes” meaning “you have 10 more minutes” and I gauge it from there. On the comedy stage, however, there’s a light. And when the light comes on it means “wrap it up.”
When I was in Y-Indian Guides, my name was Brave Wolf. Now it would be Dumbhead Who Can’t See Light. Pardon my French.
I enjoy LA. Read City of Quartz.
Good times were had in Boston. I got a ride with Alan Astor, who was playing the show, also. He rented a sweet ride that also fit a Boston band going back from a NY show, called Big Digits. He reminds me of Tom Jones. He’s got the magic as they say. He looks like one of the guys from Megaforce, the movie starring Barry Bostwick, made during the post-apocalyptic movie boom that followed the cape tails of Mad Max. His set was him and his Ipod. He has a band that plays his NY shows. Real good.
John Manson set up the show. Guys like him are pieces of gold. Vic Thrill is like that, too. They will set up shows and take care of bands and make sure everything’s cool and go out of their way to help you out. The bill was John’s band, Young Sexy Assassins, Heloise, Alan Astor, and me.
If you ever get the chance to see YSA, do it. They’re badasss.
Heloise sings with dancers and a band. She’s real good, too.
John’s girlfriend had a birthday. So, we met up at her house for the before-show party. Her sister’s accordion was broken and I tried to fix it but needed more time. So, I put on a party hat and a couple of blinking rings and hung out with the locals. A parade ensued and the party marched down the street to the venue with a boombox in a shopping cart leading the way.
I hate watching hecklers during someone else’s set which is what I did. I get so angry. It’s the same feeling as someone talking in a movie theater- when you think they’re done, they start up again. Oh, well. I let it go.
I rode to my couch with John and Eve and Eve’s dad and Rich. Eve had the hiccups so I tried scaring her in the car and it didn’t work. So, when we got out of the car I got rid of her hiccups by staring at her. It’s awesome when this works.
“Are your hiccups gone?”
“Yes.”
So, then her dad asked me to help him walk home 9 miles. So, I stared at him, told him he was good, and watched him walk down the street. I hope he made it home okay.
I woke up on John’s couch and no one was around. So, I made myself coffee with the espresso machine that he had picked up from a moving neighbor. Really good coffee. And yesterday’s paper.
Then, his new roommate came in and we hung out and went to a brunch down the street. Really nice people. Really nice. I met this girl who drives an escort. Not the car but the harlot. She makes sixty dollars an hour. When I say she I mean the driver. One of the customers lives with his mom and waits for her to go to bingo. There’s a movie to be made.
Now I have “Never Been to Me” stuck in my head. Just kidding. But maybe now you do.
I took the Lucky Star bus to Chinatown NY. It wasn’t bad. Although, I think the driver left someone at the Roy Rogers. Thank goodness I hate Roy Rogers.
I got home and watched Sin City and fell asleep. Nick Offerman kicks ass.
I bought a soft case for my piano on Saturday so that I wouldn’t have to carry my big, hard case on the train. I hate going into music stores and magic stores. I always feel like an idiot. I should leave magic stores alone, anyway. I’ve got enough crap I can try to master without buying the latest bank breaker.
Speaking of magic, I had time after getting my case to get a beer with Magic Brian and Riley. Magic’s been gone all summer street performing in Europe so it was good seeing him again. I like the smell of beer. I guess that makes me a dork but I already told you I do magic tricks.
On Sunday I played at Purchase College. I took the Metro train to White Plains and then waited for the #12 bus. After waiting about half an hour, a student pointed to a passing shuttle that was free and faster to the college. So, we ran to that one and it stopped everywhere: malls, grocery store, hotel, smoke break; but I got to the school on time.
I wandered around the venue a bit and waited for Jesse, the promoter. He had bought a deli tray and five cakes (cake replaces beer) so I went with him to the grocery store to hang out a little. He’s a good guy. He had booked me at a club in a strip mall a couple of years ago. That was a fun night, too.
I played with Beans. He’s excellent at rapping acapella. So good at it. He doesn’t need beats. And then there was this band called Nuclear Power Pants. The two singers were conjoined twins accompanied by a big coat for two and a band (including a g-board) with foam dinosaur heads that glowed from the black lights. Their lyrics were wonderfully dumb and I loved them. I love bands like that. They reminded me of the 2 Skinnee J’s. I couldn’t stay for Dead Unicorn because I had to catch the train back to NYC. I didn’t have any cake.
I wore my sequin jacket during my set at Jam on the River. It looks good but I got a bit slow from the heat towards the end of the set.
I went to the FYE tent to sign some cd’s and a storm came in. Holy shit was it awesome. The cd’s blew off the table and the canopy began to blow away. If not for my dynamic weight holding down the tent, FYE would have lost it all. The three employees and I were holding onto the greatest kite ever. And then I thought, idiot, I’m gonna get struck by lightning. And then, someone who had their cd signed, asked for a picture. So, I had one arm around her and one arm holding the shelter. Shit man, I was Thor.
We took down the roof and I went back to my dressing room and hung out with DJ Logic and was rewarded with a Yuengling. Good times.
I have a lot on my plate today. When I get home I can start finishing those things. One of the things I have to do is- no wait, two of the things are:
learn a Ben Ickies tune
learn a Baby Dee tune
Ben wrote a song for his orchestra but can’t be at his show and asked me to play it for him. That’s cool. I like his work.
And I have to learn a Baby Dee song for next week.
About three years ago I stayed at this lady’s house in Ohio. She let me have her bed and she slept elsewhere. Had I known she would be sleeping on the dining room floor I would have refused for she had to get up early to do her paper route. She, Una and I had stayed up that night in her kitchen drinking wine. She was telling me about her album that had organ, accordion, piano, harp, and her vocals with birds from her backyard as a background. And I think if there are two cd’s, then one is only birds from her backyard. So, I’ve been waiting to hear this for a long time.
Well, the other night, Sxip, the fellow I replaced in the Bindlestiffs, had a show and was to hook me up with a cd to learn her songs.
I missed Sxip’s wonderful band but saw the Wiyos who were fantastic. A three-piece old America band with a singer who sounds a lot like Hank Williams. They were great.
Yesterday, I went to Magic Brian’s and listened to Baby Dee’s cd on the way. It’s excellent. It’s a cross of Rufus Wainwright and Tiny Tim. Beautiful, haunting songs.
You can get it at:
www.durtro.com/artistsf
I get emails for shows all the time. And I try to make them. And sometimes its cold outside and my stomach hurts from not cooking my food well enough. Or some other reason. That would be a reason not to go out.
But when someone calls me and invites me to a show it’s hard not to go. They took time to make sure I knew they had a show and asked me to please come. I can’t let a friend down.
I made lobster ravioli for dinner and I think I messed up the sauce because my stomach hurt really bad not too soon after I ate.
I was given a PS2 and it can suck your life. I can leave it alone and not want to play but I had a hankering for an RPG so I found Evil Dead: A Fistful of Boomstick.
The game itself is okay but the cool part is Bruce Campbell’s voice. I love that guy. http://www.kittenpants.org/21_ray/bruce.asp
Anyway, I was waiting for a friend to come by and get his beer keg from my house and in the meantime, I was trying to destroy Nathanial Payne with a shovel.
After the keg was gone my stomach felt better so I hiked to the show.
Miss Saturn was celebrating her birthday by hula-hooping in her birthday suit. I missed that part but hey, it’s alright.
I’ve never seen Galapagos so crowded. Travis, who works there, bought me a beer. And we watched best we could from the back.
Tanya, Miss Saturn, Kalki, and some dude, and some other lady did their hoops. The dude was awesome. They were all fantastic. Kalki and I shared a trailer with my girlfriend when we were in Circus Boreal in Alaska. She’s really good.
There was a handful of older gentlemen with cameras in the front. One guy had his digital that he would post on Saturn’s site, the other fellow had a conventional camera, and the third man had a 3-D camera. Magic Brian tells me that these guys go to all the burlesque shows. He brought his slides and the view-master-like viewer to show others. Good times.
Me and Noah and Magic got pizza at Ana Marie’s. That’s good pizza. And I walked home and played Bruce Campbell until 3.
Go see my friends do their things:
www.misssaturn.com
www.kalkihulagirl.com.au/kalki/
www.wauwausisters.com
Saturday night was one of the best saturday nights of saturday nights. Three bands at my house, friends, beer, new friends, good times all around.
My friend Jim brought his band, Deck of Jack, which was him and another guy named Fuzz. They were fantastic. I’d done a solo show with him at a BBQ a couple of years ago. But this one was a lot different.
Fun raps. Yo raps on the mike. Really fun.
And then the Live Ones. My roommate’s band with the drummer singing. Like the Carpenters set up but with KISS-like sermon banter and straight up rock. The guy, Mike, puked behind his drums because he played too hard. I love that. That’s a rock show. That’s the spirit. That’s the way it should be done.
And then we took the stage and we were sloppy but it was still fun. I messed up and ron had a lot of beer in him but he played well. He had sliced the tip of his finger off the week before with his new kitchen knife. It was nothing but good times.
ding dong, rock and roll.
I had a good Christmas. I still have my parents and a grandmother so I’m grateful.
My flight got into Nashville fine but I-24 was closed. So, I was stuck in Nashville. The good thing was that my friend, Janet, was in Nashville staying at her mom’s. So, I had a ride and a place to stay.
Her mom is really, really nice. I think she was a beauty queen at one time. When she picked me up she asked if I was hungry.
“Yeah”
“Do you eat meat?”
“Yeah”
She asked this because Janet doesn’t eat any meat except fish. And by the way, this makes you a fisheater not a vegetarian. I dated a vegetarian whose dad got really excited when he found out I ate meat. Such joy is found in a meat-eating buddy.
“I guess we can just stop at a fast-food place and I can pick something up.”
And then she started dialing the cel-phone.
“You like steak?”
“Yes”
“Hi, I’d like to order a . . .”
And she got me a steak at Outback.
We got to the house and Janet was laid up due to a broken ankle. She was doing video work for Cradle of Filth in Canada and broke her ankle. I like Cradle of Filth.
There were plenty of Michelob Ultra’s in the fridge and they went into my belly with the delicious steak. I crave meat and beer alot. I tried to be vegan for 12 days and I felt great but fell on the 11th day to a free dinner of Steve’s BBQ and Schlitz.
I was at Janet’s from Wednesday through Christmas morning. I felt like a Dicken’s character- a poor lad sitting with a rich invalid girl, drinking beer, watching movies.
Her mom made a big Christmas dinner with Turkey and mashed potatoes and stuffing. Stove Top is good. It hasn’t changed.
On Christmas day, Janet’s stepbrother, Jason, drove me to Clarksville where my folks met me to drive the rest of the way. The road from Clarksville to Cadiz was still shitty but not as bad.
The next day my brother’s family came and spent the rest of my time playing with a 2 year old and a 4 year old who love their Uncle Jon.
I like playing living rooms.
I played in Jessica Delfino’s living room last night. It was a great show. It was a variety show with:
Epstein and Hassan www.theblackandthejew.com
Eurotrash
www.odebratwins.com
Jessica Delfino
jessydelfino.blogspot.com
Haunted Pussy
www.hauntedpussy.com
Dan Fishback
www.cheeseonbread.com
Adira Amram
www.whoownsjackkerouac.com
Nick Jones
www.oojamadome.org
and hosted by Mormon Surprise
I like playing living rooms. They’re extremely intimate and I don’t have to plug in. I’ve played them before at parties but nothing like this. Common Rotation, kings of the living room tours, reintroduced me to the charms of a stranger’s living room but this was the gold monkey of living room shows. Next time you gotta come.
