Monthly Archives April 2008

Baltimore and Danbury

Friday, May 2
The Ottobar
2549 N Howard St.
w/ Big in Japan, Gunwife Gone, and The Old Souls
9pm doors
9:45 showtime

Saturday, May 3
Cousin Larry's
1 Elm St.
w/ Fonix and Creepdust
9pm, $5

Read More

The oldest guy in town forgot to cover his head with a napkin.

This old guy from town fashioned a bird out of marzipan for a contest to see who could make the best Ortolan Bunting dining experience without harming a real bird. Inside the marzipan, he packed corn-based sweetened breakfast cereal to mimic thorny bones and used salted jellies to mimic organs.
In a similar contest, there was a real tiger behind the old guy, doing the same thing but with the wax figure of a gentleman. When the old guy turned around, the tiger looked at him and cocked his head like a house cat asking to go outside in its cutest manner.  The man nodded in deference, as cats killing birds around the home is congruent to natural selection because they evolved a face that is darling to humans...

Read More

Saturday Night in Brooklyn

Saturday, April 19
Luna Lounge
361 Metropolitan Ave
w/ The Jupiter Deluxe

357 LOVER IS AT 9:30


I met Mark from Jupiter Deluxe at a Cathyland show where I heard him do a Harry Nilsson cover. 

Jupiter Deluxe video 

Mark as Judas

Read More

The Plausible Frog

Dear Girl,
Hopefully you’ll get this letter.  I wrote the first part of it a year ago and just finished the last part today.  I couldn’t figure out why I wrote to you but now I do.
I can only tell you part of what I’m doing and then I want you to guess the rest.  I’ve been living by the pond near your house, eating tadpoles and minnows and the occasional horse apple (the last one I keep throwing up).  I fashioned my semblance to an amphibian, webbing my hands with 2 pairs of rubber gloves and attaching fish fins to my toenails with the aid of Lee Press-On Nails.  The gloves are excellent.  The toe fins are still in trial stages.
Unfortunately, I managed to bore a hole in my neck on accident due to an attempt to fix a rake I bought from an Amish fellow...

Read More

Werewolf Tonight!

I may be on NightWatch tonight at 9pm CTR. This will be the first time they've had a real werewolf on the show. UPDATE RESCHEDULED FOR MAY 6TH!

Read More


I got this email yesterday.  It made my day.  I’d sent the Golden Warrior a copy of Your Favorite Hamburger is a Cheeseburger

Hey Jon,
Thanks for the CD. Hope you guys are doing well. This is my wife’s email address. I don’t do email unless it’s something special.
Keep Up The Good Work…If you don’t get a Grammy for “SHINE ON” then it’s rigged.
Your Friend,
Kevin Von Erich

Here’s some of the hair match. 

Read More

3/12/08 Austin Beauty Bar

We stopped at the Czech Stop in West on the way to Austin.  Ron and Suke had never been there and wanted to make sure we stopped there again on the way back so they could stock up on kolaches (Czech pastries).  I wrote a song about that place once and gave them a recording of it.  The town has a big festival and Myron Floren and Brave Combo have played there along with many other accordion players.

bravecombosimpsons.jpg brave combo on the simpsons

It’s a great town.

SXSW registration was overwhelming. Ron and I went to register while Suke and Dave looked for a place to park the van.  At one point we were going up the escalator and Ron said, “Do you feel a knot in your stomach?”  “Yeah, I do.”  I’ve never seen such a concentrated cool contest as I did there.  Not that everyone was trying but enough were to ma...

Read More

3/11/08 Driving Day

We drove to Dallas from Athens. We stayed at my old roommates’ (Corbett and Becky) house where they were watching Cat Soup. Beth made ravioli lasagna for us. She’s real sweet.

We’d been craving Shiner Bock since the tour was planned and Corbett and Becky had it. Corbett was in an art rock band with Dave and me called The Dooms UK. His moniker was DJ Geeky C. He had good samples. He also has an awesome dog named The Baron. I love that dogs don’t worry about being over excited. What a joy. I had a dog in high school that pissed everytime she saw me come in the door. That’s a lot of excitement.

Read More

3/10/08 Athens, GA – 283 Bar

On the way to Athens, we stopped to get gas in Harlem, GA. It’s the birthplace of Oliver Hardy. Subsequently, there is a museum dedicated to Laurel and Hardy. It was closed. I’m sure it's excellent.

oliverhardy closed. coño. photo by suke

Lori, the owner of 283 bar, is a sweet sweet lady. We arrived in Athens and she immediately gave us drinks and let us hang out a bit before loading in. During the load-in she made note of the coin-slot disco ball by the jukebox. She would deactivate the monetary switch in order to give us carte blanche with the ball along with the smoke machine.

athens5 photo by suke

We wandered the downtown with cd’s trying to put some on consignment. They are good with the local music but understandably not willing to burden themselves with unsigned touring bands. Except Wuxt...

Read More

3/9/08 Augusta, GA – 1021 Bar

We checked into the Budget hotel.  They had a Coke machine that dated before Coke Classic.  I have a theory that New Coke was introduced as a smokescreen in order to replace sugar with corn syrup with Coke Classic.  Theories are fun.  I also had a theory that if you looped the electromagnetic spectrum you could reverse time.  Here’s some digression to magical realism:  If you put a radio at the end of a rope and spinned that rope at a 5-foot diameter from yourself during a nuclear explosion, then you could go back in time to a date that you really enjoyed and cut the time line into the form of a Wheel-O. Problem solved.

We were early so we hung out in the room and watched Randy Jackson’s Dance show.  A dance crew dressed as vampires were my favorite.  They were beat by Fish and Chicks.  T...

Read More