Monthly Archives February 2006

How to Be Better Than You Already Are

A fine piece of literature was beholden at this dime store that had become a dollar store.  It was a book on how to mold yourself into a better person so I thumbed through it for a grain of salt.  The cashier saw me looking at the book, walked over, and grabbed it out of my hands.  She thumbed through it like it was cash.

"Dammit."

"Huh?"

"I put a note in here from my tommorrow boyfriend so that my backup boyfriend wouldn’t see it and now it’s gone."

"What’s a tommor-"

"Nevermind.  Dammit.  FFFFFF-Why can’t people leave shit alone?"

And then she ran down the aisle of office supplies and thumbed through all the coloring books that were only a dollar.  She was creating quite a pile while her register was building a good line of people.

One customer finally said, "Hellooo?"

"Hold on!  dammit...

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Axl Rose

I had a great night last night.  I did a show at the Ars Nova Theater called Automatic Vaudeville.  I like doing these variety shows.  It’s cool to hang out with other performers.  On the bill was a band called Sin Destroyer, At Least It’s Pink, the VIDS, Neal Medlyn, Dirty Martini, and Billy Willing.

They do you well there in the backstage:  pizza, m&m’s (both kinds), beers, carrots, pringles.  If I was doing magic instead of singing I would have had pizza and beer.  Guess what card you’re thinking of?  Magic.

I played two songs and went back to cage, as they say.  After the show I went to meet my lady at Show, where the vaudeville is high class, as they say in Grapevine.

Victoria Secrets had a party at Show with lots of dancing ladies on pedestals...

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Culver City’s Cabinet of Wonder

I had a good time in LA.  I visited the La Brea Tar Pits this time.  There’s a wall of wolf skulls.  Or jawbones.  I can’t remember except that it was immense.  Nonetheless, they have a wealth of fossils there.
Superlative to the museums I visited is still the Museum of Jurassic Technology. Oh, how I love to see the vision of one person come to fruition! There I caught a movie trailer that the founder was showing in order to acquire the funds to make a complete movie.  It was a waterfall with some piano in the background but at one point just the waterfall.  I love quiet nature videos.  I tried to make one in Ireland but my hand shook too much as I was driving.  I hope Mr. Wilson gets his funding.
I did a show with Hard N Phirm...

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Old Shows. Good Times.

Saturday, November 13
short solo set
Richmond, VA
The Canal Club
1545 E. Cary St.
Richmond Varietease presents “The Den of Delight” with CORN MO!
w/ Boo Boo Darlin, Dolli Holliday, Deepa De Jour, Miss Magnolia Jackson Pickett Burnside and The Garter Snaps
East Coast:
Mini Tour with the BURLESQUE-A-PADES:
short solo set
Friday, November 19th
NEW HAVEN, CT

Helen Pontani, Albert Cadabra, Trixie Little & The Evil Hate Monkey, Corn Mo, Mstickle & more
Cafe Nine
250 State St
9PM
tickets @ www.cafenine.com

Saturday, November 20th
ASBURY PARK, NJ

Helen Pontani, Albert Cadabra, Trixie Little & The Evil Hate Monkey, Gal Friday, Corn Mo, Mstickle & more
Asbury Lanes
209 4th Ave.
8pm doors/9pm show
tickets @www.asburylanes.com

Monday, November 22nd
BROOKLYN

Angie Pontani, Helen Pontani, Albert Cadabr...

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Old Shows. Good Times.

 Tour with The Trachtenberg Family Slideshow Players

Thursday, August 17

Hoboken, NJ

Maxwell’s

1029 Washington Ave.

8pm, $10, $12 door
Friday, August 18

Philadelphia, PA

First Unitarian Church

2125 Chestnut St.

8pm, $10 adv., $12 door
Saturday, August 19

Arlington, VA

IOTA Club & Cafe

2832 Wilson Blvd.

$14
Sunday, August 20

Baltimore, MD

Ottobar

2549 Howard St.

7pm, $10 adv., $12 door
Tuesday, August 22

Carrboro, NC

Cat’s Cradle

300 East Main

8:30pm, $12
Wednesday, August 23

Asheville, NC

Grey Eagle Tavern & Music Hall

185 Clingman Ave.

7:30pm, $10 adv., $12 door
Thursday, August 24

Athens, GA

40 Watt Club

285 W. Washington St.

8pm, $10
Friday, August 25

Atlanta, GA

The Earl

488 Flat Shoals Ave.

9:30pm, $12 adv., $14 door
Saturday, August 26

Little Rock, AR

Sticky Fingerz Chicken Shack

10...

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Shows

Tuesday, February 7
NYC
Parkside Lounge
317 E Houston (at Attorney)
7pm
$5
Full Corn Mo Set!  Come straight from work!

February 9
NYC
Automatic Vaudeville
Ars Nova
511 W 54th St
10pm
$10
w/
THE SIN DESTROYERS
AT LEAST IT’S PINK
DIRTY MARTINI
NEAL MEDLYN
VIDS

January 27
Los Angeles
UCB Theater
Audios Amigos with Hard N Phirm
5919 Franklin Ave
11pm
$8

Saturday, January 28
Purchase, NY
Purchase College

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