Monthly Archives February 2006

How to Be Better Than You Already Are

A fine piece of literature was beholden at this dime store that had become a dollar store.  It was a book on how to mold yourself into a better person so I thumbed through it for a grain of salt.  The cashier saw me looking at the book, walked over, and grabbed it out of my hands.  She thumbed through it like it was cash.



"I put a note in here from my tommorrow boyfriend so that my backup boyfriend wouldn’t see it and now it’s gone."

"What’s a tommor-"

"Nevermind.  Dammit.  FFFFFF-Why can’t people leave shit alone?"

And then she ran down the aisle of office supplies and thumbed through all the coloring books that were only a dollar.  She was creating quite a pile while her register was building a good line of people.

One customer finally said, "Hellooo?"

"Hold on!  dammit...

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Axl Rose

I had a great night last night.  I did a show at the Ars Nova Theater called Automatic Vaudeville.  I like doing these variety shows.  It’s cool to hang out with other performers.  On the bill was a band called Sin Destroyer, At Least It’s Pink, the VIDS, Neal Medlyn, Dirty Martini, and Billy Willing.

They do you well there in the backstage:  pizza, m&m’s (both kinds), beers, carrots, pringles.  If I was doing magic instead of singing I would have had pizza and beer.  Guess what card you’re thinking of?  Magic.

I played two songs and went back to cage, as they say.  After the show I went to meet my lady at Show, where the vaudeville is high class, as they say in Grapevine.

Victoria Secrets had a party at Show with lots of dancing ladies on pedestals...

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Culver City’s Cabinet of Wonder

I had a good time in LA.  I visited the La Brea Tar Pits this time.  There’s a wall of wolf skulls.  Or jawbones.  I can’t remember except that it was immense.  Nonetheless, they have a wealth of fossils there.
Superlative to the museums I visited is still the Museum of Jurassic Technology. Oh, how I love to see the vision of one person come to fruition! There I caught a movie trailer that the founder was showing in order to acquire the funds to make a complete movie.  It was a waterfall with some piano in the background but at one point just the waterfall.  I love quiet nature videos.  I tried to make one in Ireland but my hand shook too much as I was driving.  I hope Mr. Wilson gets his funding.
I did a show with Hard N Phirm...

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Old Shows. Good Times.

Saturday, November 13
short solo set
Richmond, VA
The Canal Club
1545 E. Cary St.
Richmond Varietease presents “The Den of Delight” with CORN MO!
w/ Boo Boo Darlin, Dolli Holliday, Deepa De Jour, Miss Magnolia Jackson Pickett Burnside and The Garter Snaps
East Coast:
Mini Tour with the BURLESQUE-A-PADES:
short solo set
Friday, November 19th

Helen Pontani, Albert Cadabra, Trixie Little & The Evil Hate Monkey, Corn Mo, Mstickle & more
Cafe Nine
250 State St
tickets @

Saturday, November 20th

Helen Pontani, Albert Cadabra, Trixie Little & The Evil Hate Monkey, Gal Friday, Corn Mo, Mstickle & more
Asbury Lanes
209 4th Ave.
8pm doors/9pm show

Monday, November 22nd

Angie Pontani, Helen Pontani, Albert Cadabr...

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Old Shows. Good Times.

 Tour with The Trachtenberg Family Slideshow Players

Thursday, August 17

Hoboken, NJ


1029 Washington Ave.

8pm, $10, $12 door
Friday, August 18

Philadelphia, PA

First Unitarian Church

2125 Chestnut St.

8pm, $10 adv., $12 door
Saturday, August 19

Arlington, VA

IOTA Club & Cafe

2832 Wilson Blvd.

Sunday, August 20

Baltimore, MD


2549 Howard St.

7pm, $10 adv., $12 door
Tuesday, August 22

Carrboro, NC

Cat’s Cradle

300 East Main

8:30pm, $12
Wednesday, August 23

Asheville, NC

Grey Eagle Tavern & Music Hall

185 Clingman Ave.

7:30pm, $10 adv., $12 door
Thursday, August 24

Athens, GA

40 Watt Club

285 W. Washington St.

8pm, $10
Friday, August 25

Atlanta, GA

The Earl

488 Flat Shoals Ave.

9:30pm, $12 adv., $14 door
Saturday, August 26

Little Rock, AR

Sticky Fingerz Chicken Shack


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Tuesday, February 7
Parkside Lounge
317 E Houston (at Attorney)
Full Corn Mo Set!  Come straight from work!

February 9
Automatic Vaudeville
Ars Nova
511 W 54th St

January 27
Los Angeles
UCB Theater
Audios Amigos with Hard N Phirm
5919 Franklin Ave

Saturday, January 28
Purchase, NY
Purchase College

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