“Die Legende von Herrn Admiral Nacht die Seite Tänzer und der Platz Tätowieren”

This was an article found on the floor in the residence of the late Mr. Issac Woodall of Kansas City, MO on January 17, 2005 . No clues as to what newspaper it was collected from but some document-hobbyists claim it never went to press. The article was written in German, thus this is my loose translation of said piece.

“Die Legende von Herrn Admiral Nacht die Seite Tänzer und der Platz Tätowieren”
January 10, 1866 by way of January 9, 1985 – A playful animal, the deer. Especially moon deer. Once in 1813, one of the deer, Sir Admiral Nightside Dancer, put on a wonderful display from the sweat of bipedal beavers. A temple, dedicated to Nightside, lit up so much that the Council of Fifteen decided it was going to alert Blue Planet (our earth) to their secret life. Not that earth would have the ability to travel to the moon at the time but 150 years was not enough time to scramble for cover.
The display included carousel-like deer prancing in slight light which is not unlike a combo of lasers and LEDs, only a bit dimmer due to CF guidelines. Lasers in almost a sepia tone would be correct.
Sir Admiral Nightside Dancer was very upset at the quenching of his extravaganza, so much that he almost put on a travel coat and went to earth to blend into the Hapsburgs but was stopped by CF just short of winged departure.
And now, when you look at the moon on January 15, you can see antlers and tears in what looks to be a fake constellation technique known as a Space Tattoo.