New York - Anti-Corn Mo demonstrators waving signs that said “Worst Copier Maintenance Job Ever” and “the Companies Nightmare” jeered the singer’s walk into work during the Feels-Like-Friday Thursday.
“It’s ‘company’s nightmare’,” Mo stated. “With an apostrophe ’s’. And nobody ever died over a paper jam. At least under my watch.”
Three blocks from his work, protesters tried to rush a Gray’s Papaya as an egg and cheese on a bagel was burned on the bottom.
“They’re usually good here but I guess since it’s so cold, everyone wants an egg and cheese, so the probability of a burned one is high,” said Chup Chup Sinclair, 52, of New York.
Chup Chup Sinclair was at the rear of a group of protesters, but she said the experience was worth it despite the burnt smell.
Sinclair said she was upset by Mo’s return after his precious tour, but “I’m angrier this time, since I’m angry about the empty 2 tray on the Xerox.”
Some rallying against Mo’s work carried coffeemug-like coffee mugs to symbolize they liked coffee made before arriving to work.
Jacob Fear of 11th floor accounting said four women who were protesting the wearing of furs were arrested after they disrobed in the near-freezing temperatures. That rumor was later found to be porn left on someone’s screen.
“This is what makes America great. It’s a little disrespectful, but it’s their right to protest,” said Daniels J. Jones, who works on the 9th floor in web content.
Eight employees lay down in the break room pretending to be dead, with 11th floor donuts strewn over their bodies. Mo stepped over them to make coffee. There was one boston crème left which he took back to his desk and enjoyed, allowing him to forget anything negative was going on.
Archive for January, 2005
Friday, January 27
Los Angeles
UCB Theater
Audio’s Amigos with Hard N’ Phirm
5919 Franklin Ave
11pm
$8
Saturday, January 28
Purchase College
Thursday, February 9
NYC
Automatic Vaudeville
Ars Nova Theater
511 W 54th St.
cute mini set!
Burlesque-A-Pades Tour
featuring:
The World Famous Pontani Sisters
Kitten de Ville
Trixie Little
The Hate Monkey
Corn Mo
Tyler Fyre
The Fisherman Xylophonic Orchestra
2/14 - The Birchmere, Alexandria,VA
2/15 - The Otto Bar, Baltimore MD
2/16 - The Bowery Ballroom, NYC
2/17 - TT The Bear’s, Boston, MA
2/18 - Asbury Lanes, Asbury Park, NJ
2/19 - World Cafe Live, Philadelphia, PA
I have a lot on my plate today. When I get home I can start finishing those things. One of the things I have to do is- no wait, two of the things are:
learn a Ben Ickies tune
learn a Baby Dee tune
Ben wrote a song for his orchestra but can’t be at his show and asked me to play it for him. That’s cool. I like his work.
And I have to learn a Baby Dee song for next week.
About three years ago I stayed at this lady’s house in Ohio. She let me have her bed and she slept elsewhere. Had I known she would be sleeping on the dining room floor I would have refused for she had to get up early to do her paper route. She, Una and I had stayed up that night in her kitchen drinking wine. She was telling me about her album that had organ, accordion, piano, harp, and her vocals with birds from her backyard as a background. And I think if there are two cd’s, then one is only birds from her backyard. So, I’ve been waiting to hear this for a long time.
Well, the other night, Sxip, the fellow I replaced in the Bindlestiffs, had a show and was to hook me up with a cd to learn her songs.
I missed Sxip’s wonderful band but saw the Wiyos who were fantastic. A three-piece old America band with a singer who sounds a lot like Hank Williams. They were great.
Yesterday, I went to Magic Brian’s and listened to Baby Dee’s cd on the way. It’s excellent. It’s a cross of Rufus Wainwright and Tiny Tim. Beautiful, haunting songs.
You can get it at:
I get emails for shows all the time. And I try to make them. And sometimes its cold outside and my stomach hurts from not cooking my food well enough. Or some other reason. That would be a reason not to go out.
But when someone calls me and invites me to a show it’s hard not to go. They took time to make sure I knew they had a show and asked me to please come. I can’t let a friend down.
I made lobster ravioli for dinner and I think I messed up the sauce because my stomach hurt really bad not too soon after I ate.
I was given a PS2 and it can suck your life. I can leave it alone and not want to play but I had a hankering for an RPG so I found Evil Dead: A Fistful of Boomstick.
The game itself is okay but the cool part is Bruce Campbell’s voice. I love that guy. http://www.kittenpants.org/21_ray/bruce.asp
Anyway, I was waiting for a friend to come by and get his beer keg from my house and in the meantime, I was trying to destroy Nathanial Payne with a shovel.
After the keg was gone my stomach felt better so I hiked to the show.
Miss Saturn was celebrating her birthday by hula-hooping in her birthday suit. I missed that part but hey, it’s alright.
I’ve never seen Galapagos so crowded. Travis, who works there, bought me a beer. And we watched best we could from the back.
Tanya, Miss Saturn, Kalki, and some dude, and some other lady did their hoops. The dude was awesome. They were all fantastic. Kalki and I shared a trailer with my girlfriend when we were in Circus Boreal in Alaska. She’s really good.
There was a handful of older gentlemen with cameras in the front. One guy had his digital that he would post on Saturn’s site, the other fellow had a conventional camera, and the third man had a 3-D camera. Magic Brian tells me that these guys go to all the burlesque shows. He brought his slides and the view-master-like viewer to show others. Good times.
Me and Noah and Magic got pizza at Ana Marie’s. That’s good pizza. And I walked home and played Bruce Campbell until 3.
Go see my friends do their things:
www.misssaturn.com
www.kalkihulagirl.com.au/kalki/
www.wauwausisters.com
Saturday night was one of the best saturday nights of saturday nights. Three bands at my house, friends, beer, new friends, good times all around.
My friend Jim brought his band, Deck of Jack, which was him and another guy named Fuzz. They were fantastic. I’d done a solo show with him at a BBQ a couple of years ago. But this one was a lot different.
Fun raps. Yo raps on the mike. Really fun.
And then the Live Ones. My roommate’s band with the drummer singing. Like the Carpenters set up but with KISS-like sermon banter and straight up rock. The guy, Mike, puked behind his drums because he played too hard. I love that. That’s a rock show. That’s the spirit. That’s the way it should be done.
And then we took the stage and we were sloppy but it was still fun. I messed up and ron had a lot of beer in him but he played well. He had sliced the tip of his finger off the week before with his new kitchen knife. It was nothing but good times.
ding dong, rock and roll.
Like building a model rocket- you spend days making it and then take it to the park. It’s going to either be spectacular or a dog is going to bite it and chew on it and then bury it.
I started working with this girl, Irene, on the rock opera. It was weird having someone else sing a song I wrote. I had to let go and let her take the wheel and drive. Like building a model rocket- you spend days making it and then take it to the park. It’s going to either be spectacular or a dog is going to bite it and chew on it and then bury it. Well, it was spectacular. Irene took the torch and high-fived her coach at the finish line.
I’m gonna write another for her to sing.
The receptionist I work with is taking off next week to lay down some tracks. He raps. His name is BRock. You can pronounce it either way. I hope he goes far. He’s real nice.
He told me his producer told him to rhyme about escalades and shit he can’t afford. Now he’s told to rhyme about the ghetto.
He had a rhyming dictionary up on his computer.
“things that rhyme with -ain”
“Castles of Spain”
“woodworking plane”
I really hope he uses one of those two options that are really on this site.
I helped him a little and got him going. He got really excited. He told me what he was going to write about and I told him he was already writing it as I repeated it back to him. Write it down.
Oh, and fuck escalades. I was trying to get a rental out of Nashville during Christmas and there was only one car available in the city.
“I can go down to $80 a day for you on an escalade.”
I don’t know. Maybe an Escalade is a good ride. But I’ve driven enough to feel more comfortable in a shitty 89 Nissan because I know I won’t worry about the scratches that will come from the Kroger parking lot. Not that I drive anymore or go to Kroger.
My friend, Fishboy, makes sure you know it’s Kroger and not Krogers. Internets. Walmarts. Dinners. You only eat one dinner a day unless it’s prepackaged as in “I ate five Hungry Man dinners.” Or you’re a Hobbit. If you’re a lion and you eat two elks it’s still called dinner.
“I’m going back for seconds.” I say this alot because I do it alot. “I’m going back for a second helping of a Golden Corral dinner because I want my money’s worth.”
You shouldn’t eat buffet on the road because it’s uncool to yourself and those around you. Unless you get your own hotel room within the hour. I miss the road.
Man, if anyone lives in NYC and wants to start a soccer team, let me know. Because fat soccer players either die or get thin. I have a Leeds shirt I can wear and that will inspire me to win.
Dammint. I just had a M-azing bar from the snack machine. I did really well yesterday by eating well but sucked today by getting a hot dog lunch and a poor candy chaser. I’m turning into a shit machine. And my gym just upped their rates. I hope nobody goes there so they’ll go back down on their price.
You know what sucks about a 65 cent candy bar? Is that the level of joy is lower than the level of reprisal. My desk faces the damn machine. I’ll prove it. From left to right:
sun chips(french onion)
dipsy doodles
chex mix
wheat thins
snyders pretzels
fantasy mix
lays
cheezits
welch’s fruit shits
some cookie
trail mix (i
guess that’s
okay)
nutter butter
kit kat 3 musketeers
almond joy
granola bar
more kit kat
fuck it goes on to donuts and pop tarts.
Man, if anyone lives in NYC and wants to start a soccer team, let me know. Because fat soccer players either die or get thin. I have a Leeds shirt I can wear and that will inspire me to win.
My brain’s getting smaller because of this. I can’t make up cool shit right now because I’m idle. Fuck candy. You want to see me throw away a box of Oreos? Go buy me a box and I’ll do it. I swear I will. Just don’t look at me as I dig through the trash later.
It’s not how many freethrows you make it’s how you got to the freethrow line.
And that you can make a freethrow. And Ben Stiller’s making some freethrows.
I thought that whenever I have a kid I’m going to let him or her watch television all the time. My reference point for success was Ben Stiller. He watched a lot of tv as a kid and if he hadn’t there would be no Heatvision and Jack. He is the Cable Guy. In a good, productive way.
I heard some radio guy in London dismissing him but you know what? It’s not how many freethrows you make it’s how you got to the freethrow line.
And that you can make a freethrow. And Ben Stiller’s making some freethrows.
Anyways, my brother has two kids and they love books. They get to watch videos every once in a while but that’s it. One niece is 4 and can already read a little. The 2-year old loves me reading to her and then says “again” when I’m done.
So, I don’t know. I may let them watch good tv. Whatever that is. The good thing about having no stimulus is that you begin to create stimulus. Those are good kids.
