heathrow

I padded my time in the UK with an extra day before and after the tour in case poo got in the fan. And it did. Both days. I was proud of myself for planning ahead but still frustrated with the first extra day’s bullshit. And when I say bullshit I mean shit from a bull that has daisies and lovely gift teabags because I was about to tour England for the first time.

The plane made a diversion from the course due to a sick lady. I hope she is okay but I guess I will never know. She was a grandma and that makes her life extremely important to her immediate family. Grandmas are great to have. They do a lot of good and always have something for you that you didn’t ask for.

We landed somewhere in Newfoundland at a very small airport. The guy sitting next to me told me there was a curfew at Heathrow meaning we could be 2 hours late or 12 hours late. It didn’t matter to me much.

The Stepford Wives was one of the movies on the plane and The Whole Ten Yards was the one of the others. I can’t stand mafia movies.

I noticed the guy sitting next to me was reading a “world affairs” journal. And then he pulled out his pad and started writing. I tried to nap but I looked at his writing and saw “Republican” in the third line. I left him alone and went to sleep.

When the plane was about an hour away from London I asked if he were at the convention. He said yes. I asked who he wrote for and he said the Times. His leg started shaking nervously. I asked if he got to see Zell Miller and he said yes. I could tell he was getting uncomfortable so I kept quiet.

He asked to get up so he could get his leg moving.

There were two guys on either side of me waiting in line for customs. I think the one guy was from “Queer as Folk” and the guy in front of me was this old man who I’ve seen in lots of movies but can’t place where I’d seen him. He stood up many times from his seat so I had plenty of chances to guess.

I had a little trouble with customs but got through okay. Things were looking up.

I went to my car rental which had closed it’s airport office. So, I got a ride with the rental bus. I had clicked on Hertz on the cheaptickets but it had given me Dollar and I didn’t realize it until I presented my paperwork to Hertz. I felt like a real dumbass.

There was no van to Dollar so the Hertz van offered to drive me to a lot with a gate and pointed to a distant McDonald’s and said, “You should find your car there.”

I walked about half a mile and saw the hotel that Dollar was. I set my bags down and saw that it was closed.

No more buses and the Tube was closed, too. So, I got an expensive cab ride into town. Dollar sucks.